Dickhead Quotes
I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Uh, I lost my sunglasses and yesterday I went to the Sunglass Hut. Here's the question: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25-inch color television set? I go to the Sunglass Hut. I see a pair that I like. I don't love them. I don't. I like 'em. $309. And I asked the guy, very politely, "How do you sleep at night, ya little prick?" [audience cheers] You know what I mean? Always just wonderin'. And I told him--and this is true--that two weeks ago, I bought a 25" color television set from Wal-Mart for $218. And he goes, "Well, apparently, sir, you don't get it." "...I'm listenin'." He goes, "These glasses block 100% of all UV rays." I'm like, "No, apparently you don't get it; this thing decodes a digital satellite signal it picks up from outer-fucking-space!" [audience cheers] And then it turned out the glasses got basic cable and I felt like a dickhead...
Ron White
My friends like to tell me before they fart like it's important. They get really excited, like I wanna know about it. "Jeez I'm gonna fart." "Don't do it in here ya dickhead there's no windows." Or they tell you after they've done it. "I just farted." But nobody ever tell's you while their doing it. That'd be a bit weird going "I'm farting! (Pause) Still goin'!"
Carl Barron
They (Extreme) surround themselves with these professional, dickhead, commercial rock and roll guys...when they show up at an airport, their manager runs ahead of them and yells at the people greeting them, 'No video! We want a path straight to the van! We don't want any pictures taken!' Y'know, I'm like, "So what?"
Kurt Cobain
