Majorca Quotes
The population of Majorca has always been noted for its absolute indifference to politics. In the days of the Carlistes and the Cristinos, George Sand tells us how they welcomed with equal unconcern the refugees of either side. According to the head of the Phalange, you could not have found a hundred Communists in the whole island. Where could the Party have got them from? It is a country of small market-gardening, of olives, oranges and almonds, without industry, without factories. I declare on oath that during the months preceding the civil war there was no attempt of any kind made against persons or belongings. 'There was killing in Spain,' you say. 'A hundred and thirty-five political assassinations between March and July 1936.
Georges Bernanos
[imitates a terrorist] "We must penetrate the west at their most vulnerable spot: Glasgow Airport!" [shakes head] I think the lesson was learned: don't... fuck... with Scottish people... who have a holiday booked, okay? [imitates Scottish tourist] "I'll get the trolley. You get the bags and stuff. We'll get the rest of the stuff at duty-free. You got our tickets and the passports? What gate are we? Twenty... two. Hold on while I punch this burning man in the face. Fuck off! Bastard! Majorca, here we come! Ten days, I couldn't afford two weeks! Hang on while I just get a light off his face! Hold still, you Al-Qaeda bastard! Where you from?" "Afghan.." "Whereabouts?"
Michael McIntyre
The population of Majorca has always been noted for its absolute indifference to politics. In the days of the Carlistes and the Cristinos, George Sand tells us how they welcomed with equal unconcern the refugees of either side. According to the head of the Phalange, you could not have found a hundred Communists in the whole island. Where could the Party have got them from? It is a country of small market-gardening, of olives, oranges and almonds, without industry, without factories. I declare on oath that during the months preceding the civil war there was no attempt of any kind made against persons or belongings. 'There was killing in Spain,' you say. 'A hundred and thirty-five political assassinations between March and July 1936.' But in Majorca there were no crimes to avenge, so it could only have been a preventative action, the systematic extermination of suspects.
Georges Bernanos
