Farting Quotes

I used to be a folk singer, but I was... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog. (Billy Connolly)

Nothing is more conspicuous than a farting princess.

Jack Vance

I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

James Joyce

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Graham Norton

My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog.

Alex O'Loughlin

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

Jenny Eclair

I'm too old to be farting around with stuff that isn't precisely what I want to do.

Wes Borland

The dog now slept, occasionally farting very gently.

Anthony Burgess

You're about to experience chaos. [before farting in a police officer's face, while being photographed nude after his arrest].

Hans Reiser

On My First Driving Lesson "First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?...Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that's not moving makes you an asshole.

Justin Halpern

If you're doing a family movie, you don't want it to be stupid. Farting chihuahuas is not my idea of entertainment for kids or adults. So you try to make a movie that adults can see on one level, and kids can see on another. (Joe Dante)

Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

Ryan Hansen

Is that about farting zombies?

Bill Allred

... "shagging" - a quasi-comical activity, like belching or farting, except it was more taboo and more necessary than these.

Amit Chaudhuri

If we have the smegging compass, Jeremy, you don't need to look at the farting sun.

Gavin Free

Why would I be excited that a Democrat won? Seriously, over the past eight years the Democrats didn't do SHIT! Basically, the last eight years, I feel, the Republicans stood around farting; and the Democrats went "Ooh, let me smell it."

Lewis Black

My friends like to tell me before they fart like it's important. They get really excited, like I wanna know about it. "Jeez I'm gonna fart." "Don't do it in here ya dickhead there's no windows." Or they tell you after they've done it. "I just farted." But nobody ever tell's you while their doing it. That'd be a bit weird going "I'm farting! (Pause) Still goin'!"

Carl Barron