Poop Quotes

If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop. (Kurt Cobain)

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

Tyler Posey

The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop. That's who you are!

Angelina Jolie

Oh, Bertie, if I ever called you a brainless poop who ought to be given a scholarship at some lunatic asylum, I take back the words.

P. G. Wodehouse

In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!

Dr. Seuss

If you look at it from any other side, it looks like a pile of enormous deer droppings, but Chiron wouldn't let us call the place the Poop Pile, especially after it had been named for Zeus, who doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

Rick Riordan

It's not something you tell your single best friend. It'd be like rubbing your nose in the poop of my happiness.

Shannon Hale

I want to be remembered for my poop jokes. Those are the most important kind.

Eric Andre

The first thing I did when I decided that I was going to dive into the world of poop was look at who was doing stuff in that world. The first I came across was the World Toilet Organization. So one of the first things I did was to go to their annual show in Moscow.

Rose George

Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

Ryan Hansen

Nigel Barton: Eh dad, why do you always walk in the middle of the road?
Harry Barton: I don't know.
Nigel Barton: What do you think the pavement's for?
Harry Barton: Dogs to poop in, by the looks of things! (Dennis Potter)

When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, "that's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?" But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say "bad monkey."

Jon Stewart

If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy - but I look at politicians as they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, 'That's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?' But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say, 'Bad monkey.'

Jon Stewart

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

Jerry Seinfeld

I think you know grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents that are walkin' on their pants with their cap on backwards, listenin' to the Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg and they don't like 'em.

Alan K. Simpson

Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful.

Sandra Bullock

Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?

Tom Robbins

All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let's get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States-and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!

Kurt Vonnegut

The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

Pat Paulsen

The notes of this music were the last thing I heard before I went off the poop and felt myself going headlong into the icy water with the engines and machinery buzzing in my ears.

Steve Turner

Bundy's a rumpkin. Bundy's a poopbutt. Bundy's his momma's boy. Bundy's out there trying to prove something to his own manhood. That's got nothing to do with me. I don't roll around with poop people like that. I stand with people that can stand with themselves. (Ted Bundy)

I'm always amazed when I go to do stand-up dates and the ad in the paper says, "For Mature Audiences Only." Nothing could be more immature than my stand-up. It's all derived from the silly humor my dad instilled in me. Poop and penis jokes. I really should be billed in perpetuity as "For Immature Audiences Only." I'm in the process of evolving past that. Could take a while.

Bob Saget