Israelites Quotes
We have had enough of white presidents. So, let's this time elect a president from the Negro race. What will you do if I say so? There's no question there. We must never forget that we are brothers and sisters in a huge human family. In any level of community, we must become like a family. Even in the Israelite nation, there were Negro people. God has mixed whites, yellow, and blacks all over the world, but especially in the United States. If you go to Israel, you will see many black people there, and you would perhaps ask them, "Are you an Israelite, too?" And he would say "Yes." Maybe in his ancestry, one of the Israelites married an African Negro. I don't know, but they are Israelites by lineage. Most of the people in Israel have black hair, but I very often found blonde hair. Then I would ask them, "Are you an Israelite, too?" And he would say "Yes."
Sun Myung Moon
Burchill divides up the chosen people into Good Jews (hardliners, Israelites) and Bad Jews (liberal Jews) with the enthusiasm of an antisemite. Hilariously, she sets herself up as the Jewishness Police, railing against Jews who are not Jewish enough; and one of those, it turns out, is her local rabbi, Elli Tikvah Sarah. Burchill rails against the rabbi for, in this order: ignoring a bottle of champagne Burchill gave her in favour of elderflower wine made by the rabbi's girlfriend; "canoodling" with said girlfriend ("a Sapphic free-for-all", sneers the heretofore not exactly prudish Burchill), and advocating a dialogue with Islam.
Burchill doesn't include this in the book but, according to Rabbi Sarah, Burchill emailed the synagogue's congregants railing that "your rabbi respects PIG ISLAM". Aww, being used as a launchpad for a British columnist's racism – we're living in the Promised Land now, fellow Jews!
Julie Burchill