Diaper Quotes

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. (Robert A. Heinlein)

Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.

Marshall McLuhan

Washington is a dirty diaper. It's time for a change.

James Carville

As elsewhere in his writing, Vidal gives the impression of believing that the entire heterosexual edifice - registry offices, Romeo and Juliet, the disposable diaper - is just a sorry story of self-hypnosis and mass hysteria: a hoax, a racket, or sheer propaganda.

Martin Amis

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters.

Dakota Fanning

The duty of the moment is what you should be doing at any given time, in whatever place God has put you. You may not have Christ in a homeless person at your door, but you may have a little child. If you have a child, your duty of the moment may be to change a dirty diaper. So you do it. But you don't just change that diaper, you change it to the best of your ability, with great love for both God and that child.... There are all kinds of good Catholic things you can do, but whatever they are, you have to realize that there is always the duty of the moment to be done. And it must be done, because the duty of the moment is the duty of God.

Catherine Doherty

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

Jeff Foxworthy

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it.

Barbara Ehrenreich

Did you know that when a baby poops its diaper, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?

Larry the Cable Guy

You know, you can tell the difference between a terrorist and a toddler. On a terrorist, the diaper is gonna be on the head, all right? That's how you can tell the difference. [very loud applause] It's upsetting. Unbelievable. They got absolutely nothing in common except both diapers are full of crap.

Larry the Cable Guy

Myra subsided into outraged and sulky silence. Her romantic dream of motherhood had been riven into sharp-edged fragments by late-night feedings, constant diaper washing, and a baby who persisted in looking and acting like a baby, not like a young hero. (Sheri S. Tepper)

If you say children wouldn't know anything about masturbation on their own, you've never changed a little boy's diaper.

Joycelyn Elders

Do you live each day as if it's your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.

Ellen DeGeneres

Why do otherwise sane, competent, strong men, men who can wrestle bears or raid corporations, shrink away in horror at the thought of washing a dish or changing a diaper?

Frank Pittman

They have been taught that if you are sunny, cheery, sincere, group-adjusted, popular, the world is yours, including barbecue pits, charge plates, diaper service, percale sheets, friends for dinner, washer-dryer combinations, color slides of the kiddies on the home projector, and eternal whimsical romance - with crinkly smiles and Rock Hudson dialogue. So they all come smiling and confident and unskilled into a technician's world, and in a few years they learn that it is all going to be grinding and brutal and hateful and precarious. These are the slums of the heart.

John D. MacDonald

I once knew a chap who had a system of just hanging the baby on the clothes line to dry and he was greatly admired by his fellow citizens for having discovered a wonderful innovation on changing a diaper.

Damon Runyon

But I know, as beatific as Gandhi was, there was somebody in a Bombay bar going, "I knew Gandhi...he was a prick. I saw him sucking down a pork hot dog, hitting on Mother Teresa. He kept saying, 'Who's your diaper daddy? Who's your diaper daddy?'"

Robin Williams

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly!

Ivanka Trump

I learned how to change a cloth diaper on a raccoon, i was maybe 8 or 9.

Nikki Reed

I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just wipe and pull the flap over.

Drew Brees

In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper. (Graydon Carter)

Everything TSA does is reactionary - first they ban the box cutters, then of course you have to take your shoes off, then you have to take the liquids out, now we have to be patted down in our private areas because of the diaper bomber.

John Mica

You will be at your best forever, Even now you have good moments. Occasional glimpses of your heavenly self. When you change your baby's diaper, forgive your boss's temper, tolerate your spouse's moodiness, you display traces of saintliness.

Max Lucado

[I]f your banker comes in one day wearing a diaper, speaking gibberish, you're going to pull your money out of that checking account.

Mike Murphy (political consultant)