Tew Quotes

Prejudice iz a hous plant which iz very apt tew wither if yu take it out doors amungst pholks. (Josh Billings)
It iz comparitively eazy tew repent ov the sins that we hav committed, but tew repent ov thoze which we intend to commit, is asking tew mutch ov enny man, now days. View quote
Josh Billings
The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing. View quote
Josh Billings
As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the glory consists, not so mutch in winning, as in playing a poor hand well. View quote
Josh Billings
I dont never hav enny trouble in regulating mi own kondukt, but tew keep other pholks straight iz what bothers me. View quote
Josh Billings
Every man should kno sumthing ov law--if he knows enuff tew keep out ov it, he iz a prety good lawyer. View quote
Josh Billings
Misplaced charity iz a good blunder tew make. If yu want tew git a good general idea ov a man's karakter find out from him what hiz opinion ov his nabor iz. View quote
Josh Billings
I don't beleaf in bad luck being sot for a man, like a trap, but i hav known lots ov folks, who if thare waz enny fust rate bad luck lieing around loose, would be sure tew git one foot in it enny how. View quote
Josh Billings
I don't kno az i want tew bet enny money, and giv odds, on the man, who iz alwus anxious tew pray out loud, every chance he kan git. View quote
Josh Billings
Truth dont require the aid ov elegant and high stepping words, tew express its force, or buty, it iz like water, tastes better out ov a wooden bucket, than it duz out ov a golden goblet. View quote
Josh Billings
I hav often heard ov men who had bekum disgusted with the world, and retired into solitude; but i hav never heard ov a kommitty ov our fust citizens waiting on them and asking them tew kum bak. (Josh Billings)
If thare iz enny human being that i thoroughly loath, it iz the one who haz nothing tew boast ov but hiz money--a mere pimp tew hiz welth. View quote
Josh Billings
When i see a poor, and proud aristokrat, purtiklar about punktillio, he alwus puts me in mind ov a drunken man, trieing tew walk a crack. View quote
Josh Billings
Them folks who are sudden, aint apt tew be solid; lively streams are alwus shallow. View quote
Josh Billings
"Familiarity breeds kontempt." This only applies tew men, not tew hot bukwheat slapkakes, well buttered and sugared. View quote
Josh Billings
Rather than not hav faith in enny thing, i am willing tew be beat 9 times out ov 10. View quote
Josh Billings
Politeness iz often wasted, but it iz a good and cheap mistake tew make. View quote
Josh Billings
There iz no more real satisfackshun, in laying up in yure buzzum an injury than thare iz in stuffing a dead hornet, who haz stung you, and keeping him tew look at. View quote
Josh Billings
Love haz a most vorashus appetight, but a poor digestion, what it feeds on most alwus distresses it. Prudes, are coquets, gone to seed. It iz our duty tew pray for them who revile and persekute us, but i dont kno az we are obliged tew let them kno it. View quote
Josh Billings
We are happy in this world just in proporshun as we make others happy--i stand reddy tew bet 50 dollars on this saying. View quote
Josh Billings
This setting down and folding our arms, and waiting for sumthing tew turn up, iz just about az rich a speckulashun az going out into a four hundred acre lot, setting down on a sharp stone, with a pail between our knees, and waiting for a cow tew back up and be milked. (Josh Billings)
I think that a hen who undertakes tew lay 2 eggs a day must necessarily neglekt sum other branch ov bizzness. View quote
Josh Billings
If we giv up our minds tew little things we never shall be fit for big ones. I knew a man once who could ketch more flies with one swoop ov his hand than enny boddy else could, and he want good at ennything else. View quote
Josh Billings
It iz a darned sight eazier tew find six men who kan tell exactly how a thing ought tew be did than tew find one who will do it. View quote
Josh Billings
Cunning iz very apt tew outwit itself. The man who turned the boat over and got under it tew keep out ov the rain, waz one ov this kind. View quote
Josh Billings