Pee Quotes - page 2
If you've ever bought drugs before, you understand that for some bizarre reason you have to feign this relationship with your dealer. It's like you're not really going to him to buy drugs. You're going for a social visit. Drugs are the surprise that just happens when you get there. "Oh, hash? I didn't know!" And he's talkin' to you and you're tryin' to be interested, you know, "Oh yeah? No, really...I love Foghat. No, seriously." And inside you're like, "Just fuckin' give it! I hate you. Your house smells like cat pee!" Why do all drug dealers' houses smell like cat pee?
Margaret Cho
Who knows how to make love stay? Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.
Tom Robbins
I'm goin', what the fuck am I bustin' my ass for, doin' HBO specials, doin' fuckin' concerts, when I could just write rap songs? How hard is this shit to do?! Here's my first rap single: "Lick Me Where I Fuck and Pee". There it is! My first rap hit! 'Lick Me Where I Fuck and Pee!" I got a hit! That's where it's at! I got another song, for men, especially for men, in general: 'You Call That A Fuck, You Lazy Bitch?' Oh! OH! This song is gonna go through the fuckin' roof, trust me! We're talkin' about a song that's gonna go through the roof! They'll call me Grammy Sammy after that fuckin' song. Wait! I got another one! I got another one! 'Who Farted in My New Car?' You can't stop me! Fuck MC Hammer, 'You Can't Touch This'- YOU CAN'T STOP ME! I'm a rap song writing machine now, look out!
Sam Kinison
The centerpiece of the cultural counterrevolution is the snowballing campaign for a "drug-free workplace" - a euphemism for "drug-free workforce," since urine testing also picks up for off-duty indulgence. The purpose of this '80s version of the loyalty oath is less to deter drug use than to make people undergo a humiliating ritual of subordination: "When I say pee, you pee." The idea is to reinforce the principle that one must forfeit one's dignity and privacy to earn a living, and bring back the good old days when employers had the unquestioned right to demand that their workers' appearance and behavior, on or off the job, meet management's standards.
Ellen Willis
But once upon a time, we could play shove ha'penny, and read a penny dreadful, and sing a song of sixpence, and take the King's shilling; and once upon a time even further in the past, five sparrows could be bought for two farthings, and yet not be forgotten. Somehow, the transaction would not have had the same effect if the sparrows had been sold for two pee.
Bernard Levin
