Arse Quotes - page 2
There's this one celebrity, Rosie O'Donnell, a talk show host, and she said this: "I don't know anything about Afghanistan, but I know it's full of terrorists, speaking as a mother.” So what is this "speaking as a mother" then? Is that a euphemism for "talking out of my arse"? "Suspending rational thought for a moment"? As a rational human being, Al-Qaeda are a loose association of psychopathic zealots who could be rounded up with a sustained police investigation. But speaking as a parent, they're all eight foot tall, they've got lasers under their moustaches, a huge eye in their foreheads and the only way to kill them is to NUKE every country that hasn't sent us a Christmas card in the the last 20 years!! "Speaking as a mother".
Bill Bailey
On working at La Passione (1996): Day one, the damage was done. All it was meant to be was one hour of a little boy's dreams. And I had things I wanted to do with the guitar that hadn't been done before. Like, there's one number called "Olive Oil", where I was actually playing slide guitar in the same scale as a saxophone. [...] But then in came millions of executives from America. So in the end, it fell flat on its arse. And it came out the same week that Britpop took off. Blair had just won the election. Oasis. Spice Girls. So something a bit Fellini-ish – about a little boy who loved red cars – went straight over the top. It was like, ‘Well, don't you have a 335 guitar with a Union Jack on it?'
Chris Rea
I've been haunting bookshops and hiding behind display signs of TV chefs (Nigella is excellent to hide behind as she has a huge arse) as I spy on the short fiction section and see if anyone's tempted by my sweet bait. I've also been counting how many copies of the book are left in shops, and I've been covering other "upcoming” authors' books with mine.
Kevin Barry
I fell into conversation with Douglas. His is a split personality. À deux he is delightful; clever, funny, observant, drily cynical. But get him anywhere near "display mode", particularly if there are officials around, and he might as well have a corncob up his arse. Pompous, trite, high-sounding, cautiously guarded.
Alan Clark
