Mother-in-law Quotes - page 2

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked. (Les Dawson)
The mother-in-law is the centre of a family. View quote
Les Dawson
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. View quote
Josh Billings
To be able to keep a mother-in-law in the country while he lives in Paris, and vice versa, is a piece of good fortune which a husband too rarely meets with. View quote
Honoré de Balzac
They (mothers-in-law) never leave when they say they will. When my mother-in-law visits, the mice throw themselves at the cat, begging to be eaten. View quote
Lisa Kleypas
If there's an award for best mother-in-law in the universe, in the future, when my son gets married, I will win that award. View quote
Laura Schlessinger
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all. View quote
Jasper Carrott
I know my mother-in-law would drive two hours to go see a movie that I'm in. View quote
Melanie Lynskey
But I understand that relationship I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced. View quote
Wanda Sykes
I confidently expect that we shall continue to be grouped with mothers-in-law and Wigan Pier as one of the recognized objects of ridicule. View quote
Edward Bridges, 1st Baron Bridges
A mother-in-law dies only when another devil is needed in hell. (François Rabelais)
I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. We're both Leos, we understand each other. View quote
Tori Amos
They wanted me to be the face of Coca Cola. I was like 'Wow. Have you guys got any idea what you're talking about?' Then Pepsi called me the next week. My mother-in-law called me and said 'Oh my God, Maya, they're offering you so much money. View quote
M.I.A.
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.' View quote
Joan Rivers
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. View quote
Henny Youngman
When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter - that's something. View quote
Lou Gehrig
When Reginald Iolanthe Perrin set out for work on the Thursday morning, he had no intention of calling his mother-in-law a hippopotamus. View quote
David Nobbs
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in. View quote
Les Dawson
My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.' View quote
Les Dawson
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' View quote
Les Dawson
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.' (Les Dawson)
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. View quote
Les Dawson
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig. View quote
Les Dawson
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing. View quote
Les Dawson
Adam was the luckiest man he had no mother-in-law. View quote
Mark Twain