Airline Quotes - page 3

When I was younger I wanted to be an airline pilot, but that lasted for about 30 seconds. (John Barrowman)
Failure saves lives. In the airline industry, every time a plane crashes the probability of the next crash is lowered by that. The Titanic saved lives because we're building bigger and bigger ships. So these people died, but we have effectively improved the safety of the system, and nothing failed in vain.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
[After reading an article on Miles for Kids in an inflight journal] What [President of the Airline] is doing is, he's urging everyone to give up their frequent flyer miles for sick kids... But as I was reading this, there were two empty seats next to me. Why can't sick kids sit there? If they're so concerned with sick kids, shouldn't they have like a pen of sick kids next to the gate?
David Cross
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer (slurring): [Aboard airplane] Stewardess, could you get me another drink? Stewardess: Sorry sir, the head steward said you already had enough. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer: But she don't understand, I need this drink. I'm a caveman and I'm frightened by your strange flying machine, so get me another Dewars and water, pronto. Stewardess: Sorry sir. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer: Listen, I'll sue you and your WHOLE CRUMMY AIRLINE!
Phil Hartman
Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline.
Harvey Mackay
We've got fuel prices coming down and good travel numbers coming out, so it's not surprising airline stocks are going up.
Andrew Sullivan
This airline is cursed and only an exorcist can save it.
Maurizio Prato
Most people realize that AIDS came from the homosexual community - it was one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men. It was an airline pilot, if I recall.
Stacey Campfield
Flight attendant: "Sir, please, it's against airline policy to use the headphone cord to strangle a fellow passenger." - "Just gimme five more minutes..."
Megatokyo
Flying doesn't make me nervous. Driving to the airport can make me nervous. Because if you miss that plane, there's no alternative. [...] No airline goes, "Well, you missed the flight. We do have a cannon leaving in about ten minutes. Would you be interested in that? It's not a direct cannon, you have to change cannons after you land."
Jerry Seinfeld