Waiter Quotes

A diplomat these days in nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. (Peter Ustinov)

Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian?

Djuna Barnes

Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die.

Chuck Palahniuk

By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

Saki

I am not a fan of people who abuse service staff. In fact, I find it intolerable. It's an unpardonable sin as far as I'm concerned, taking out personal business or some other kind of dissatisfaction on a waiter or busboy.

Anthony Bourdain

A diner having a row with a waiter in a swanky restaurant chills the blood in a way that a quarrel over a pizza order elsewhere would never do. Compassion is rarely the custom of the privileged.

Derren Brown

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Dave Barry

The waiter brought fresh-baked bread and cheese, a bottle of sparkling water for Annabeth, and a Coke with ice for me (because I'm a barbarian).

Rick Riordan

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

Phyllis Diller

I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.'

Helen Fielding

Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena)
Why don't you speak a little louder, Lanie? I don't think the guys in Canada were able to hear you. (Grace)
Oh, I don't know. They're probably headed south even as we speak. (Waiter) (Sherrilyn Kenyon)

It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.

Don Herold

How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person.

Austin Butler

I have been working since I was 20, and I'm 38. I actually once averaged out what I had made over my professional life. I think I could have made that much as a waiter or an insurance salesman. You know, I spent so many years in my 20's making $10,000 a year.

Sebastian Junger

I was a lousy waiter, dealing with people and having people in your face like that.

Judge Reinhold

I basically modeled my way through college, doing local runway shows in L.A. that don't pay a lot and a couple of shows in N.Y. and S.F., and I probably made the same as the average 19-year-old waiter; I just worked less and was around beautiful girls, so it was nice.

Mehcad Brooks

A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.

Morey Amsterdam

I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.

Nick Frost

I was working in restaurants as a captain and as a waiter.

Sally Schneider

My father was a guy who, because of the businesses he was in - the hotel business, the hospitality business - he didn't differentiate between the waiter serving you dinner, from the maitre d from the guy who owns a restaurant. Everybody was the same to him. He didn't look at who you were. He didn't look at your wallet.

Steve Tisch

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. - The waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant. (Daniel Handler)

Sometimes I order a beet salad, so when the waiter comes and lays down my salad I can say "thanks for laying down those funky beets". It's an expensive joke because I don't even like beets.

Zach Galifianakis

I don´t feel famous, I am the same as a waiter or anybody that works in the club, there are people with fame and money but no feelings, and thats what´s important.

Cuauhtémoc Blanco

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

Jim Gaffigan

... Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.

Eoin Colfer

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