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Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressman can.
Mark Twain
What's the difference between a whore and a congressman? A congressman makes more money.
Edward Abbey
Elect me as your congressman today, I promise you an Ilocano president in 20 years.
Ferdinand Marcos
The single most important thing you can do politically for gay rights is to come out. Not to write a letter to your congressman but to come out.
Barney Frank
I was introduced to Congressman Lyndon B. Johnson. The young Congressman was very friendly.
Erich Leinsdorf
One congressman asked 'I just want to know if you've accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior. The minister looked stunned, and he said 'no.' The whole table almost fell on the floor. The congressman was quite serious. That was his litmus test.
Jim Sasser
Nobody ever says to men, how can you be a Congressman and a father.
Patricia Schroeder
I just want to also say that Congressman Paul, I've heard him now in many debates talk about bringing our troops home, and about the war in Iraq and how it's failed. And I want to tell you that that kind of isolationism, sir, is what caused World War II. We allowed... We allowed -- we allowed Hitler to come to power with that kind of attitude of isolationism and appeasement.
John McCain
Q: "Congressman Paul, you've questioned the fiscal conservatism of all these candidates, but particularly Senator Santorum. You have a new television ad calling him a fake. Why?"
Ron Paul
Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressman. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day.
Ron Paul
Despite tremendous pressure, this statesman put aside partisanship and made the tough decision, and became the first Republican to come out for the impeachment of President Nixon. That man was my dad, former Congressman Lawrence J. Hogan, Sr., who is here with us today. He put aside party politics and his own personal considerations in order to do the right thing for the nation. He taught me more about integrity in one day than most men learn in a lifetime, and I am so proud to be his son.
Larry Hogan
[about solar energy] If you ask your congressman why, he'll say "Because it's hard. It's really hard. Makes me want to go poopie." You know why we don't have solar energy? It's because the sun goes away each day, and it doesn't tell us where it's going!
Lewis Black
Mostel: If I appeared there, what if I did an imitation of a butterfly at rest? There is no crime in making anybody laugh. I don't care if you laugh at me. Congressman Jackson: If your interpretation of a butterfly at rest brought any money into the coffers of the Communist Party, you contributed directly to the propaganda effort of the Communist Party. Mostel: Suppose I had the urge to do the butterfly at rest somewhere? Congressman Doyle: Yes, but please, when you have the urge, don't have such an urge to put the butterfly at rest by putting some money in the Communist Party coffers as a result of that urge to put a butterfly at rest.
Zero Mostel
Good jobs begin with good schools, and here we've made a fine start. Republicans and Democrats worked together to achieve historic education reform so that no child is left behind. I was proud to work with members of both parties: Chairman John Boehner and Congressman George Miller. Senator Judd Gregg. And I was so proud of our work, I even had nice things to say about my friend, Ted Kennedy. I know the folks at the Crawford coffee shop couldn't believe I'd say such a thing, but our work on this bill shows what is possible if we set aside posturing and focus on results.
George W. Bush
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7', it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Woody Allen
The most important job we have is not congressman or senator or governor. It's family and mother and husband and wife.
Marco Rubio
The idea that our natural resources were inexhaustible still obtained, and there was as yet no real knowledge of their extent and condition. The relation of the conservation of natural resources to the problems of National welfare and National efficiency had not yet dawned on the public mind. The reclamation of arid public lands in the West was still a matter for private enterprise alone; and our magnificent river system, with its superb possibilities for public usefulness, was dealt with by the National Government not as a unit, but as a disconnected series of pork-barrel problems, whose only real interest was in their effect on the reëlection or defeat of a Congressman here and there-a theory which, I regret to say, still obtains.
Theodore Roosevelt
I have been a lifelong Congressman because I believe in the party's philosophy.
Sunil Dutt
Had Grant been a Congressman one would have been on one's guard, for one knew the type. One never expected from a Congressman more than good intentions and public spirit. Newspaper-men as a rule had no great respect for the lower House; Senators had less; and Cabinet officers had none at all. Indeed, one day when Adams was pleading with a Cabinet officer for patience and tact in dealing with Representatives, the Secretary impatiently broke out: "You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!”.
Henry Adams
Congressman Nixon had asked me why, as the son of immigrants who had been treated so well by Americans, as a man who had been treated like a son and been sent to Harvard by an American capitalist, I had been so ungrateful to the American economic system. The answer I gave him was not original. Nothing about me has ever been original. I repeated what my one-time hero, Kenneth Whistler, had said in reply to the same general sort of question long, long ago. Whistler had been a witness at a trial of strikers accused of violence. The judge had become curious about him, had asked him why such a well-educated man from such a good family would so immerse himself in the working class. My stolen answer to Nixon was this: "Why? The Sermon on the Mount, sir."
Kurt Vonnegut
I should concur in this result more readily if the Court could reach it by analysis of the statute instead of by psychoanalysis of Congress. When we decide from legislative history, including statements of witnesses at hearings, what Congress probably had in mind, we must put ourselves in the place of a majority of Congressmen and act according to the impression we think this history should have made on them. Never having been a Congressman, I am handicapped in that weird endeavor. That process seems to me not interpretation of a statute but creation of a statute.
Robert H. Jackson
Should some senator or congressman have a sudden attack of conscience and blurt something out, "dark money” brings them to their senses and reminds them that their job is to facilitate the transfer of public funds into the pockets of the few and to not ask too many questions.
Charles Simic
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