Piss Quotes

We don't piss in your ashtrays, So please don't throw cigarettes in our urinals. (Kurt Vonnegut)
Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off.
Spider Robinson
Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.
Lewis Black
Now I've got this moniker that I'm the foot-in-mouth gal, and I keep thinking, In what way? Because I said something you don't agree with? Because I said something you don't like? I'm just telling you my opinion. I hate the idea that I can't be honest about how I feel about things because it's going to piss somebody off who feels differently. That seems preposterous to me.
Katherine Heigl
My father always said that government is like watching another man piss in your boot. Someone feels better but it certainly isn't you.
Orson Scott Card
Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
The multitude will hardly believe the excessive force of education, and in the difference of modesty between men and women, ascribe that to nature, which is altogether owing to early instruction: Miss is scarce three years old, but she's spoke to every day to hide her leg, and rebuked in good earnest if she shows it; whilst little Master at the same age is bid to take up his coats, and piss like a man.
Bernard Mandeville
There are three states of legality in Irish law. There is all this stuff here under "That's grand"; then it moves into "Ah, now, don't push it"; and finally to "Right! You're taking the piss."
Dara Ó Briain
A bore or an uggo might manage not to get up anyone's nose, but if a girl's got brains and looks and personality, she's going to piss someone off, somewhere along the way.
Tana French
The danger of civilization, of course, is that you will piss away your life on nonsense.
Jim Harrison
Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss. (Diablo Cody)
I've had this TV for 7 years, this is how it works. Power on - it comes on. Simple clicker, volume control - piece of piss. Works every time.... what the fuck's this? What am I doing? JACK!!
Ozzy Osbourne
I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never piss on a piece of stone at the fucking Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober. I mean I know I'm a fucking crazy-ass but still.
Ozzy Osbourne
The biggest thing has been realizing how much people really do love the early Sabbath music. People have said it in the past but I've never really believed them before. I remember years ago when Metallica opened up for me, I went backstage and they were playing old Black Sabbath albums and I thought they were taking the piss! They said, 'No, we really love Sabbath.' I couldn't see that at the time--because towards the end of my time with Sabbath 20 years ago I thought what we were doing was boring and stupid, because we were boring and stupid, totally sick of what we were doing and totally out of our brains with drink or drugs when we were playing it.
Ozzy Osbourne
Graffiti is one of the few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make someone smile while they're having a piss.
Banksy
I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
Bill Burr
Dressing up in costumes, playing silly games Hiding out in tree-tops shouting out rude names - whistling tunes we hide in the dunes by the seaside - whistling tunes we piss on the goons in the jungle. It's a knockout.
Peter Gabriel
When you hear me singing you get the rifle down and the flashlight, aiming for my brain, but you always miss and when you set out the poison I piss on it to warn the others.
Margaret Atwood
But I don't know how I'll ever get a college degree and rise in the world with no high school diploma and eyes like piss holes in the snow, as everyone tells me.
Frank McCourt
Bonzo, he pre-cise. He so careful, he piss on a plate and never splash.
Orson Scott Card
There was a silence. Outside, and most unfortunately, a boy could be heard calling to another boy: ‘Piss off, Cowie.' Stern looks were fixed on Woolton. (Anthony Burgess)
Check this joke out: If you wanna talk to me after the show I'll be... Fuckin'... Surprised. I'm gonna have to have some liner notes for that joke, like "During that joke, he points to the back." So people get the full experience. I'm gonna do a bunch of jokes that require actually seeing me. Then the CD will piss people off.
Mitch Hedberg
What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?" "Because only Jace can piss someone off that much.
Cassandra Clare
You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.
Eddie Izzard
Maybe it's just a daughter's job to piss off her mother.
Chuck Palahniuk