Pub Quotes - page 2

I like to go home early, that's my thing. My idea of a pub crawl lasts from midday until 5 P.M., then I can go home, play with my kid, have tea and go to bed. (Nick Frost)
All I want to do when I have time off is to have a laugh with my school friends and go down the pub.
Samantha Mumba
Paris is a woman but London is an independent man puffing his pipe in a pub.
Jack Kerouac
I grew up in a place where everybody was a storyteller, but nobody wrote. It was that kind of Celtic, storytelling tradition: everybody would have a story at the pub or at parties, even at the clubs and raves.
Irvine Welsh
Prince, Bayard would have smashed his sword To see the sort of knights you dub-- Is that the last of them - O Lord Will someone take me to a pub?
G. K. Chesterton
If I went to the pub lunch and cleared my head with a pint surely there would be an insight, a flash of inspiration. Surely. My money went over the bar. The pint came back. Nothing else.
Frank McCourt
I had a sudden longing, like a pain, for the hot smelly East, and remembered that Everett had said something about an Indian restaurant. I asked the barman, a hot-haired Irishman, and he asked one of the business-men (who, I saw now, was a Pakistani) and then was able to tell me that the Calicut Restaurant was on Egg Street, by the Poultry Market. I went there and ate insipid dahl, tough chicken, greasy pappadams, and rice that had congealed to a pudding. The décor was depressing – brown oily wallpaper, a calendar with a Bengali pin-up (buff, deliriously plump, about thirty-eight) – and it was evident that the few Indian students were eating the special curry prepared for the staff. The manager was from Pondicherry : he caled me ‘monsieur' and was not impressed by my complaints. At least one of the waiters was from Jamaica. I went out angry and, at a pub where the landlady sniffed in curlers, drank brandy till closing-time.
Anthony Burgess
...it is recognised in England that home drinking is no real pleasure. We pray in a church and booze in a pub: profoundly sacerdotal at heart, we need a host in both places to preside over us. In Catholic churches as in continental bars the host is there all the time. But the Church of England kicked out the Real Presence and the licensing laws gave the landlord a terrible sacramental power. Ted was giving me grace of his own free will, holding back death – which is closing time – making a lordly grant of extra life.
Anthony Burgess
The greater part of the time I spent, when I talked at all, talking to men. I liked to take luncheon in some pub or other, sitting on a high stool at the snack-counter, barons of beef, hams, salads and dishes of pickle spread before me, the server in his tall white cap carving with skill. Other male eaters would be wedged against me, champing over newspapers, and there were a peculiar animal content in being among warm silent men, raising glasses in smacking silent toasts to themselves, the automatic ‘ah' after the draught, the forkful of red beef and mustard pickle. Sitting with my gin or whisky afterwards I would often manage to get into conversation with some lonely man or other – usually an exile like myself – and the talk would be about the world, air-routes and shipping-lines, drinking-places thousands of miles away. Then I felt happy, felt I had come home, because home to people like me is not a place but all places, all places except the one we happen to be in at the moment.
Anthony Burgess
Let me just say, I've seen a pub or two.
Don Johnson
A friend Alan and I ended up in an Outback pub in a place called Daly Waters and apparently, he says, in the course of this very lively evening we spent there I offered to do a house swap with a family from Korea. We weren't sure whether they were from North Korea or South Korea. (Bill Bryson)
If you hadn't noticed, I'm the pub loony around here. This is my turf, and if there's any gibbering to be done, I'm the one who does it. If you want to gibber, find another bar.
Tom Holt
You will be one of the 10% of people out there who are in that bracket because you've succeeded, 90% of people don't live their dream, they talk about it. We've all been in the pub when your mate says 'I'm going to do this' and you go back a year later and he's sitting in the same chair saying the same thing. We've all been there or know someone who's been there.
Paul Oakenfold
It's tough and it should be tough - it should never be easy to be given millions of pounds to make a drama. The coalition government is doing terrible things to the BBC, but drama will survive even if we end up putting on a play in a backroom of a pub.
Russell T Davies
I have wrote circular letters to all the deputies in my department on the east side of the Susquehanna, to enlist as many wagoners as they possibly can by the middle of next month; and to have all the pub lic teams forwarded so as to be in camp by that time. I expect our wagon-horses will fall short, as our agents have but a scanty supply of money. However, I will do the best I can.
Nathanael Greene
A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there's more conversation.
William Blake
A lot of the justification psychics give is that ‘well, it comforts people' and my feeling on that is, well, if they're lies, who are you to decide that your lies are what people need to hear to comfort them. I think it's a twisted logic. And I think that the reasons... if you've lost somebody dear to you and I'm trampling all over those memories telling you that they're here now saying this and that, that's none of my business. And if I'm just doing it because I can earn some money out of it... and when you watch these people at work so much of it is ego. Some of mediums at these spiritualist churches – especially the ones that aren't so good – they just look like second rate stage hypnotists that you might see in a pub in Corfu. It's horrendous. That I find really quite ugly.
Derren Brown
I mean seriously. If the book had a solid pub date, don't you think I'd mention it? Do you think I'd sit here at home, rubbing my hands together and chortling: "Yes! If I withhold this information another week, I'm sure to get another 100 e-mails asking me about the book!" Yup. That's exactly what I'd do. Because obviously I am some sort of alien life form that lives on snarky fanmail and bitchy blog comments. Since I became stranded on your strange world years ago, they have been my only means of sustenance.
Patrick Rothfuss
Some people like going to the pub; I enjoy going to the gym.
Frank Bruno
My knees started knocking, I did feel so sad. Then Brown said, "Don't die in a pub, it looks bad," He said, "Come with me, I'll show you what to do. Now I've got a friend who'll be useful to you." He led me to Black's Undertaking Depot, And Black, with some crepe round his hat said, "Hello, My word you do look queer!"
Stanley Holloway
I was the driver's mate, delivering the bottles and beer around South Yorkshire. We used to have a pint at every stop – well the driver's mate did, not the driver, thankfully – and we used to have about 10 stops in a day. You worked so hard you didn't feel you'd drunk 10 pints by four o'clock, you used to sweat so much. But then you had to lift all the empties off the lorry. It's probably horrifying but we used to do that then go home for tea and then go out in the evening to the pub. (William Hague)
I sometimes think the Labour Party is like a pub where the mild is running out. If someone doesn't do something soon, all that's left will be bitter. (Laughter). And all that's bitter will be Left.
Margaret Thatcher
Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. [seems to drift off in a daydream out of disenchantment, then comes back].
Bill Bailey
BB: So, who here has a guinea pig? Various Audience Members cheer BB: What kind of guinea pig? Muffled suggestions from audience members BB: Nah, you're not serious about it! (Imitates guniea pig owners) "I dunno, some brown thing...". So what breed? Audience Member: Crested! BB: (misunderstands) A what? A crusty...a crusty guinea pig? (Imitates owner) I think you should take it to the vet as soon as possible! "Gah, it's crusting over again, it's crusting up Captain!!" (understands) Ah, crested? What you have there is a newt I think, madam! Some bloke in a pub sold you that! (as man in pub) "Yeah, that's a crested guinea pig, they're lovely, them..."
Bill Bailey
People only know what you tell them.And it was true.People gave out their whole life stories to anyone and everyone without a second's thought.Stand at a bus stop,sit in a strange pub,get banged up,and someone would always give you their life story.It was as if they were trying to prove they existed.
Martina Cole