Toilet Quotes

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper. (Billy Wilder)
It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet. View quote
Uma Thurman
Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet. View quote
Lewis Mumford
No one goes to the toilet in novels. You'd think none of us had bladders. View quote
Germaine Greer
Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet. View quote
Chuck Palahniuk
We are now in the 21st century: all books, including the Koran, should be fair game for flushing down the toilet without fear of violent reprisal. View quote
Sam Harris
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. View quote
Rod Serling
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. View quote
Daphne Zuniga
Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. View quote
Joey Bishop
I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do. View quote
Frank Zappa
People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER! (Lewis Black)
The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet. View quote
Orson Scott Card
It's the Mortal Cup, Jace, not the Mortal Toilet Bowl. View quote
Cassandra Clare
The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes... View quote
Woody Allen
The [sexual harassment] situation has gotten so out of hand that, in 1993, in one of the first British cases, a plumber was fired for continuing to use the traditional term "ballcock" for the toilet flotation unit, instead of the new politically correct term, sanitized of sexual suggestiveness. This is insane. We are back to the Victorian era, when table legs had to be draped lest they put the thought of ladies' legs into someone's dirty mind. View quote
Camille Paglia
Eating, bathing, going to the toilet, talking, thinking, and many other activities related to the body are all work. How is it that the performance of one particular act is alone (considered) work? To be still is to be always engaged in work. To be silent is to be always talking. View quote
Ramana Maharshi
How can you put out a meaningful drama when every fifteen minutes proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper? No dramatic art form should be dictated and controlled by men whose training and instincts are cut of an entirely different cloth. The fact remains that these gentlemen sell consumer goods, not an art form. View quote
Rod Serling
I confess to a rare problem-gynekinetophobia, or the fear of women falling on me-but this is a rather mild illness compared with many affluent suburbanites, who have developed an almost total zoophobia, or fear of anything that moves. It is, as any traveller can confirm, a complaint best developed in the affluent North American, and it seems to be part of blue toilet dyes, air fresheners, lots of paper tissues, and two showers a day. View quote
Bill Mollison
Acting is invigorating. But I don't analyse it too much. It's like a dog smelling where it's going to do its toilet in the morning. View quote
Liam Neeson
Each civilization may choose one of two roads to travel, that is, either fret itself to death, or pet itself to death. And in the course of doing one or the other, it eats its way into the Universe, turning cinders and flinders of stars into toilet seats, pegs, gears, cigarette holders and pillowcases, and it does this because, unable to fathom the Universe, it seeks to change that Fathomlessness into Something Fathomable. View quote
Stanisław Lem
If you can see the handwriting on the wall ... you're on the toilet. (Redd Foxx)
It's expensive to keep Communism alive today. I've already got a huge foreign debt staring me in the face, and I can't reduce it by exporting tomatoes or toilet paper. We should be making dollars any way we can. And we should be exporting arms any way and every way, openly and secretly, legally or by smuggling-I don't care how. View quote
Nicolae Ceaușescu
These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
Could I just use the loo?” I asked the nice officer. "No.” She closed the door in my face, As if I might rig an explosion in the toilet. Honestly. View quote
Rick Riordan
There's nothing here,” Carter said. "What do you want?” I asked. "We've got wax, some toilet papyrus, an ugly statue. View quote
Rick Riordan