Witty Quotes - page 2

HENRY: Now it is necessary to court her, and win her, and put on this clean dressing gown, and cut my various nails, and drink something that will kill the millions of germs in my mouth, and say something flattering, and be witty and bonny, and hale and kinky, all just to ease this wrinkle in the groin. It seems a high price. (Donald Barthelme)
Your wit makes others witty. View quote
Catherine II of Russia
Histories make men wise poets, witty the mathematics, subtle natural philosophy, deep morals, grave logic And rhetoric, able to contend. View quote
Francis Bacon
Such is the nature of men, that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or more eloquent, or more learned; yet they will hardly believe there be many so wise as themselves. View quote
Thomas Hobbes
A witty illustration or an apt story will accomplish more than columns of argument. View quote
Chauncey Depew
The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to quote another's wit. View quote
Christian Nestell Bovee
A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him puts a blindfold over his eyes so that he does not see his defects but considers them signs of charm and intelligence and recounts them to his friends as if they were clever and witty. View quote
Miguel de Cervantes
A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings. View quote
Irvin S. Cobb
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. View quote
Elizabeth I of England
In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man. View quote
Giacomo Casanova
I declare, on my soul and conscience, that the attainment of power, or of a great name in literature, seemed to me an easier victory than a success with some young, witty, and gracious lady of high degree. (Honoré de Balzac)
I own four copies of Robin WIlliams's Live on Broadway comedy special for HBO. One in Wilmington, one in L.A., one in my trailer, and one at my parents' house. I can watch it over and over again and it never gets old. He is the funniest, wittiest man on the planet! View quote
Sophia Bush
A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string. View quote
George D. Prentice
I feel like there's an obsession with pace right now in theater, with things being very fast and very witty and very loud, and I think we're all so freaked out about theater keeping audiences interested because everybody's so freaked out about theater becoming irrelevant. View quote
Annie Baker
My senior year of high school, I was voted 'Wittiest.' So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money. View quote
Barbara Park
I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity. View quote
Ciaran Hinds
Today there are millions of people making stuff and putting it into the world: that's become part of our identity and it shouldn't be limited to people who fancy themselves writers, or who are particularly witty or talented. View quote
David Karp
There's a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels. View quote
Denise Mina
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality. View quote
Fionnula Flanagan
I'm hopefully touring with Colin Baker next year in Perfect Strangers. I have performed with Sylvia Simms in poetry and music evenings. I would love to do those for the rest of my career - they are so fun and witty. View quote
Louise Jameson
I am attracted to intelligence, a witty sense of humor, an adventurous outlook on life and spiritual awareness about one's self and the world. (Tanit Phoenix)
Beware of getting involved with people who seem to be able to feel good but have no close friends. They may be witty and fun to be around, but their humor is all put-downs and hostility. If you marry such a person, you will soon be the recipient of that hostile humor and may regret it for the rest of your marriage.... Someone who does not have good friends does not know how to love. View quote
William Glasser
Pretty witty Nell. View quote
Samuel Pepys
[Shahrazad] had perused the books, annals and legends of preceding Kings, and the stories, examples and instances of by gone men and things; indeed it was said that she had collected a thousand books of histories relating to antique races and departed rulers. She had perused the works of the poets and knew them by heart; she had studied philosophy and the sciences, arts and accomplishments; and she was pleasant and polite, wise and witty, well read and well bred. View quote
Richard Francis Burton
I had been warned about Mr. Truman's quick and violent temper and prejudices, but he radiated nothing but courtesy and good humor during our meeting. He has an engaging personality, a quick and witty tongue, and I liked him from the start. At the conference itself, he seemed to take great pride in his historical knowledge, but, it seemed to me that in spite of his having read much, it was of a superficial character, encompassing facts without the logic and reasoning dictating those facts. Of the Far East he knew little, presenting a strange combination of distorted history and vague hopes that somehow, some way, we could do something to help those struggling against Communism. View quote
Douglas MacArthur