Fuck Quotes - page 6
These people call themselves "right to lifers." Don't you love that phrase? And don't you love the way these kind of people pervert the English language? You realize that most of the right-to-lifers are in favor of the DEATH penalty? And they support the South American DEATH squads. And they're against gun control and they're against nuclear weapons control. When they say "right to life," they're talking about THEIR right to decide which people should live or die. Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?
George Carlin
There are over seventeen thousand golf courses in America. They average over one hundred and fifty acres a piece – that's three million plus acres, four thousand, eight hundred and twenty square miles – you could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist-there's another thing; the only blacks you'll find at country clubs are carrying trays-and a boring game. A boring game for boring people. You ever watch golf on television? It's like watching flies fuck! And a mindless game, too.
George Carlin
What comedy really is is connecting with a group of people, and just speaking at a heightened level without any barriers and saying things that are raw id, and having people really respond to it. You know, that's really what it is, and that's why there are people that I look at as comedy role models that aren't comedians, like Muhammad Ali. The way he spoke to audiences and crowds and stuff, if you watch some of his preaching to Nation of Islam crowds? Hilarious, and amazing, like he knew who the people were. He said, "You know what the fuck I'm talking about!” and he explained it to them.
Louis C.K.
I would have loved to have been on the Band Aid record but I only heard about it when I was in Germany. I don't know if they would have had me on the record anyway, because I'm a bit old.
I'm just an old slag who gets up every morning, scratches his head and wonders what he wants to fuck.
Freddie Mercury
I don't understand,
Why do I stress a man,
When there's so many bigger things at hand.
We could've never had it all,
We had to hit a wall,
So this is inevitable withdrawal.
Even if I stop wanting you
And perspective pushes through,
I'll be some next man's other woman soon.
I couldn't play myself again,
I should just be my own best friend,
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men.
Amy Winehouse
Pardon, I'm getting my scream on
Enter the kingdom
But watch who you bring home
They see a black man with a white woman
At the top floor they gon' come to kill King Kong
Middle America packed in
Came to see me in my black skin
Number one question they're asking
Fuck every question you asking
If I don't get ran out by Catholics
Here come some conservative Baptists
Claiming I'm overreacting.
Kanye West
You might look at the Oreo Pizza and think, "That is a reprehensible foodstuff". I put it to you that that is the single most patriotic item I have ever seen in my life! Hoist that up a flagpole! ... Because that is the biggest imaginable "fuck you" you could possibly issue to terrorists. By hoisting the Oreo Pizza up a flagpole, what you're essentially saying is, "There is nothing you can do to us, we are not already doing to ourselves".
John Oliver (comedian)
(in response to someone shouting "I miss Nick (Oliveri)") Well, if you miss Nick, you can go out to the parking lot and go fuck yourself. Maybe you should get started immediately. And maybe if you're really lucky, he'll beat the shit out of you too. Because that's what he likes to do to girls, so maybe you can go miss him, I dunno... Do you feel satisfied about making you comment now? Are you happy that everyone looked at you and know what you look like? See that, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I remember my first beer too.
Josh Homme
I'm going to do damage with it. I'll make sure that my work gets out. That no publisher will ever be able to tell me to take things out. Because I'll put it out myself. The more money I earn, the less they can stop me. Where I come from it's called fuck you money because I don't have to take an ounce of shit from anybody.
Michael Moore
Pedro Almodóvar: "When she came with her Blond Ambition tour I prepared a dinner for her, and that little thief didn't tell us that everything she was recording was going to be part of her film. Madonna was asking for Antonio Banderas' phone number all the time, because she wanted to screw him and I never gave it to her. When she went out jogging she always had her six bodyguards and I told her: 'Madonna, babe, this kind of things are not very attractive here in Spain.' In this country, that thing about bodyguards is like an offense, nobody is going to shoot Madonna or whoever in Spain. But in United States bodyguards seem to be, like a part of the body of the star. She asked me if I didn't have bodyguards and I said 'I would only have them to fuck them'."
Madonna (entertainer)
If the small businesses suck they'll be driven out of business... If they got a good restaurant, people will go there and eat. You know in my town the small businesses that everyone wanted to protect? They were the people that supported all the right-wing groups. They were the Republicans in the town, they were in the Kiwanas, the Chamber of Commerce - people that kept the town all white. The small hardware salesman, the small clothing store salespersons, Jesse the Barber who signed his name three different times on three different petitions to recall me from the school board. Fuck all these small businesses - fuck 'em all! Bring in the chains. The small businesspeople are the rednecks that run the town and suppress the people. Fuck 'em all. That's how I feel.
Michael Moore
The best time to go to Las Vegas is during Christmastime, because there's no drug you can take that will recreate the experience of watching people gamble while they play Christmas carols. I'm Jewish, and I'm astonished. People going, "GODDAMMIT!" "JESUS CHRIST!" "HOLY FUCK!" "...pa-rum-pum-pum-pum, me and my drum."
Lewis Black
"Acidophilus milk"?! What the fuck are you talking about?! "Acidophilus milk"?! Milk doesn't need a friend! That shit belongs in the yogurt section! "Lactose-intolerant milk"?! Kiss my DICK! If you're lactose-intolerant, you can't drink milk. So what's in the fucking carton? Get it outta there, get it away from my milk! It is talking to my milk and making it feel bad about itself!
Lewis Black
