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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Henny Youngman
My stories run up and bite me on the leg - I respond by writing down everything that goes on during the bite. When I finish, the idea lets go and runs off.
Ray Bradbury
The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
Thomas Jefferson
You know why I'm pulling your leg? Because I can't touch it from where I am.
Gene Simmons
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. Wodehouse
A traveller at Sparta, standing long upon one leg, said to a Lacedaemonian, 'I do not believe you can do as much.' 'True,' said he, 'but every goose can.'
Plutarch
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.
Bjarne Stroustrup
Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.
Lyndon B. Johnson
Even when we lose an arm or a leg, there's not less of us but more. Human experience weighs more than human tissue.
Augusten Burroughs
A lie has no leg, but a scandal has wings.
Thomas Fuller
When man resolved to imitate walking, he invented the wheel, which does not look like a leg. In doing this, he was practicing surrealism without knowing it.
Guillaume Apollinaire
The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone ... Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy was into reds. Grumpy, too much speed. Sneezy was a full blown coke freak. Doc was a connection. Dopey was into everything. Any old orifice will do for Dopey. He's always got his arm out and his leg up. And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful. Bashful didn't use drugs. He was paranoid on his own. Didn't need any help on that ladder.
George Carlin
The yellowfly is almost too small to see, but if you leave its egg in your skin, you will lose an arm or leg before it hatches - if it does not kill you.
Robert Jordan
Entrance and exit wounds are silvered clean, The track aches only when the rain reminds. The one-legged man forgets his leg of wood, The one-armed man his jointed wooden arm. The blinded man sees with his ears and hands As much or more than once with both his eyes.
Robert Graves
All his life he [the American] jumps into the train after it has started and jumps out before it has stopped; and he never once gets left behind, or breaks a leg.
George Santayana
The multitude will hardly believe the excessive force of education, and in the difference of modesty between men and women, ascribe that to nature, which is altogether owing to early instruction: Miss is scarce three years old, but she's spoke to every day to hide her leg, and rebuked in good earnest if she shows it; whilst little Master at the same age is bid to take up his coats, and piss like a man.
Bernard Mandeville
Biographers, the quick in pursuit of the dead, research, organize, fill in, contradict, and make in this way a sort of completed picture puzzle with all the scramble turned into a blue eye and the parts of the right leg fitted together.
Elizabeth Hardwick
Certes, they been lye to hounds, for an hound when he cometh by the roses, or by other bushes, though he may nat pisse, yet wole he heve up his leg and make a countenance to pisse.
Geoffrey Chaucer
How many legs does a dog have, if you call his tail a leg The answer is four, because calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln
I think Miss Moore was right to cut "The Steeple-Jack” - the poem seems plainer and clearer in its shortened state - but she has cut too much... The reader may feel like saying, "Let her do as she pleases with the poem; it's hers, isn't it?” No; it's much too good a poem for that, it long ago became everybody's, and we can protest just as we could if Donatello cut off David's left leg.
Randall Jarrell
For starters, let's dispense with the cheap jokes about cannibalism. That means cracks about giving an arm and a leg - sorry - for a good book on the subject, or similar tasteless - sorry, again - attempts to make the subject more palatable - last one.
Mitchell Zuckoff
To put down an ideogram of a table so that people will recognize it as a table is not the work of a painter, but to sense it for a moment as a magic carpet with a leg hanging down at each corner is the beginning of a painter's imagination.
Frank Auerbach
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