Comedian Quotes - page 6

Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you're not supposed to be the coolest guy. (Aziz Ansari)

The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.

Jo Brand

I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice.

Roseanne Barr

When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.

Roseanne Barr

Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.

Bob Newhart

I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.

Bob Newhart

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

Brad Garrett

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian, what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

Dave Chappelle

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.

Dave Chappelle

My personal favorite is Woody Allen, who is just amazing as a comedian.

Vir Das

A stand-up comedian will never be the life of a party. Instead, he will be the guy who is standing at a corner and observing people. (Vir Das)

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

Allen Carr

Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show' and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second.

Conan O'Brien

As a standup comedian, you have to develop a sense of fearlessness. It's really important for your livelihood and your well-being. And if you don't do that, you're going to fail; you're never going to be able to stand up on the cliff and jump off.

John DiMaggio

I always say to young people, you can have the best script, be the funniest man, but if they don't laugh - you're not a comedian.

Eric Sykes

A comedian goes out and hits people right on. A clown uses pathos. He can be funny, then turn right around and reach people and touch them with what life is like.

Red Skelton

I was a standup comedian, which is kind of like writing and directing yourself.

Paul Feig

When I think of myself, I'm definitely... I'm not like a comedian.

Dave Franco

Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to be a comedian.'

Albert Brooks

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

Adam Carolla

I was actually pretty shy in school. My defense mechanism was to be the class clown. I remember getting into a lot of trouble for being disruptive, and I was brought in front of the headteacher, who said: 'What's going to happen to you; what are you going to do when you grow up?' and I said: 'Well, I'm obviously going to be a comedian.' (Adam Clayton)

What happened to me is I gained a little weight so I could be more accessible to people. They're not like, 'Oh my God, he's, like, a male model comedian; yuck, ugh.' It's like, 'Oh, he's a little squishy; He's like me. He's accessible.' And girls are like, 'Look how cuddly he is. I just want to cuddle up in his neck fat and go to sleep.'

Adam DeVine

My younger sister's a comedian. She has a sketch comedy group in Chicago called Schadenfreude and I look at her with such admiration and envy because it's such an amazing thing to make someone laugh.

Brian d'Arcy James

I never saw myself as a comedian. I saw myself as a guy who can act funny.

Charlie Day

I'm not a comedian, I'm an actor.

Chris Diamantopoulos

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