Comedian Quotes - page 4

The comedian studies himself; the actor studies other people. The comedian wants to be himself; the actor wants to be anyone but themselves. (Jerry Seinfeld)

The real motivation of bein' a comedian is if you really love the sound of a laugh. And if you love that, you will never want to stop.

Jerry Seinfeld

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

Nicholas Sparks

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

Sarah Silverman

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.

Larry David

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.

Larry David

Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.

Joan Rivers

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

Jeff Foxworthy

I had always regarded the world of political humor as the exclusive domain of white men and immediately disqualified myself from participation. I know better now, its immensely pleasing when I'm referred to as a political comedian...

Margaret Cho

I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'

Gabriel Iglesias

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things. (Jeff Dunham)

Like the burlesk comedian, I am abnormally fond of that precision which creates movement.

E. E. Cummings

My wife said "I want to sell the house and buy a yacht". I said "What?! You do realise I live here? Comedian, Scottish guy. There's 3 kids over there, each have their own rooms. C'mon, I'll show you, they live here too."

Billy Connolly

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

Elayne Boosler

I'd rather be a live pessimist than a dead comedian.

Jack Vance

Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure.

Al Franken

Actually, you can make pretty good cash on stage without being a comedian or a stripper. My brother once won a talent contest by fartin' the song "Dixie" through an oil funnel. He not only took home 500 bucks, he got to meet Regis after the show. Who says dreams don't come true?

Larry the Cable Guy

In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian.

Rory Bremner

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

Drew Carey

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Drew Carey

You could spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future but all there will ever be is what's happening here and the decisions we make in this moments which are based in either love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dared the universe for it. I'm saying I'm the proof that you can ask the universe for it. My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that that was possible for him and so he made a conservative choice instead, he got a safe job as an accountant and when I was 12 years old he was let go from that safe job and our family had to do whatever we could do to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you could fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. (Jim Carrey)

I not only "don't choose to run" but I don't even want to leave a loophole in case I am drafted, so I won't "choose". I will say "won't run" no matter how bad the country will need a comedian by that time.

Will Rogers

I certainly know that [A] comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious and I don't want either of those to happen to me til I am dead.

Will Rogers

I'm not a comedian. And I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values.

Lenny Bruce

I am the only Iranian comedian in the world... and that's three more than Germany!

Omid Djalili

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