Comedian Quotes - page 13

I'm a comedian who got into movies, so I don't really think of myself as an actor. (Eddie Murphy)
I started out as a stand-up comedian. And that's what I'm most comfortable doing. View quote
Eddie Murphy
Will Rogers used to say he wouldnt run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian. View quote
Will Rogers
Comedian Rush Limbaugh. View quote
Keith Olbermann
I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things. View quote
Ellen DeGeneres
One can always lament, you know - but to laugh in the face of life, that's very hard. And for me the great tragedian should also be a great comedian. View quote
Martha Graham
This year, ladies and gentlemen, I was cool for 2 seconds of my life. I got to fly with the Air Force Thunderbirds. (Audience hoots and hollers) You betcha! They called me up out of the blue, and they go, "Hey, we want you to fly with us." And I'm like, "You got the right number?" They said, "Yeah, Bill Engvall, comedian. You stand for what America stands for. Be an honor to have you fly with us." I'm like, (dork voice) "Be an honor to fly with 'ya." He goes, "Well, we gotta get you clearance from the Pentagon." I go, "Well, you're screwed." View quote
Bill Engvall
A comedian is not a man who opens a funny door. He opens a door funny. View quote
Ed Wynn
As a comedian, I think you need to keep things real. View quote
Dave Attell
A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle. View quote
Buddy Hackett
What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics. (Buddy Hackett)
I'm trying to be a comedian, you know? View quote
Liam Neeson
I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man. View quote
Pat Paulsen
For the American comedian, see Billy Crystal. View quote
Bill Kristol
I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry. View quote
Wendy Liebman
(On being prepped for a gig supported by the bank, UBS) She told me not to mention Nazi Gold, and of course if you tell a comedian not to do something, they'll immediately go and do it. So I went out on stage on a giant, neon Swastika, and sang "Gold, gold/always believe in your soul/you're indestructible-like the Third Reich!"" View quote
Bill Bailey
It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing. View quote
Jimmy Carr
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me. View quote
Jimmy Carr
A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things. View quote
Fred Allen
As an openly gay comedian, I feel a responsibility to talk about a lot of issues that-- What? Are you gonna test me? You don't know if I'm lying. I can be as gay as I want to be up here, fuck you. What, are you going to strap me to a chair and blow loads in my face to see if I'm fibbing when I say I love it? View quote
Doug Stanhope
Steven had a great line. They were askin' us "What's it like as a comedian in front of 80,000 people?" And Steven said "If you're swimming in the ocean, it doesn't matter how deep the water is. All you can do is swim." (Steven Wright)
A comedian is basically a very aggressive thing to do. You force people to see things your way so powerfully, they react audibly! They actually-- you force them to react. It's "Look at things the way I look at them, and laugh at it when I say to!" View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
No one is more judged in civilized society than the stand-up comedian. Every twelve seconds, you're rated. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
Never try and make a comedian laugh with one of his own jokes. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
Who would I cast to play me? [...] You know who I think would be good? Would be Matthew Broderick. He's got a good small funny. You need a small funny to play a comedian, not a big funny. Most comedians, you know, in their daily life are small funny, it's the little looks, the little things that they say, they're not clown-y. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld