Comedian Quotes

Creator - A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. (H. L. Mencken)
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don't even have to exaggerate. View quote
Will Rogers
A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious. View quote
Will Rogers
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. View quote
Lenny Bruce
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. View quote
Voltaire
The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth. View quote
George Jean Nathan
My greatest hope was to get discovered as a comedian and get on a sitcom. View quote
Steve Buscemi
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. View quote
George Burns
I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce. View quote
Lenny Bruce
I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that. View quote
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown. (Bernie Mac)
A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them. View quote
Graham Norton
I'm an actor, I'm not a comedian, I never was a comedian. View quote
Jonah Hill
Jack: When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it. View quote
Jack Benny
Jack: I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them. View quote
Jack Benny
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. View quote
George Carlin
It's been a very old thing for people to gather together and laugh at stuff. The first comedian in America really was Abraham Lincoln ... He used to go to a pub near where he lived and stand in front of the fire and he packed the place every night and he would just talk and bust everybody in their guts. He was just a hilarious speaker and that's what he did. View quote
Louis C.K.
As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being. View quote
Jon Stewart
There are few lonelier sights than a good comedian being funny in a movie that doesn't know what funny is. View quote
Roger Ebert
One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat. View quote
Margaret Cho
It seems that a lot of people, who haven't known of me as a pianist, think I've just started off as a comedian. And so for them the piano was something extra. But, of course, playing the piano was something that came before all of what's happened now. (Dudley Moore)
A comedian is not a person who opens a funny door - he's the person who opens a door funny. View quote
Chuck Jones
And what is the reaction of the British political class? Well the Lib Dems, still think that the Euro is a success! I don't quite think where Cleggy gets this from, I don't know. Perhaps he is considering an alternative career as a stand up comedian, once he's out of politics. View quote
Nigel Farage
So I watched the Pink Panther last night, and so I'm trying desperately to be funny, and then it's just not working out so good... I wonder if maybe I could've been a comedian or something like that, or maybe I could've been a doctor, then I wouldn't have to make anyone laugh. View quote
Dave Matthews
For a long time I thought I knew for sure who I was. I grew up in New Orleans and became a comedian. And there was everything that came along with that. The nightclubs. The smoking. The drinking. Then I turned 13. View quote
Ellen DeGeneres