Stand-up Quotes - page 14

While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. (Ellen DeGeneres)
The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anybody else. You can be influenced by people. I was influenced by Steve Martin and Bob Newhart and Woody Allen, but I never tried to be someone else. I always tried to be myself. And the reason people are successful is they're unique. View quote
Ellen DeGeneres
I was influenced by a lot of stand-up comedians... Eddie Murphy back when he was doing 'Raw.' I watched that so many times as a kid, I can probably still quote the entire thing to this day. Chris Rock. Dave Chappelle. George Carlin. A lot of the guys who were sort of edgy for their time. View quote
Ray William Johnson
It's the ultimate pinnacle of stand-up to have an hour on HBO, but way more people see Comedy Central and they've been good to me. View quote
Daniel Tosh
I really don't work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am. It's really made the touring a lot less grueling. View quote
Daniel Tosh
I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts. View quote
Daniel Tosh
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing. View quote
Dave Attell
I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. View quote
Dave Attell
People called me a hoodlum and a thug. But they didn't tell you I was a carpenter, an architect, a stand-up comic - even a bartender. And a barbecue cook. But they didn't tell you that. View quote
Bobby Seale
Ask yourself: "Do I police what people say for political propriety? ... do I scrutinize great literature, music, art, television or comedy for signs of so-called sexism, racism, elitism, homophobia, antisemitism and meanness? Am I incapable of appreciating a superbly written script or book; a sublime painting or symphony; a smart stand-up routine, if only because the material and its creator violate the received laws of political correctness? View quote
Ilana Mercer
Like left-liberals, "lite libertarians"-they're the kind that is afflicted with the same spineless conformity; a deformation of the personality euphemized as political correctness-are incapable of appreciating a script or book; a painting or symphony; a stand-up routine, if only because the material and its creator violates the received laws of political correctness. (Ilana Mercer)
When political correctness first started coming around, it ruined Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy's stand-up career. Sam Kinison died at just the right time, 'cause no one was going to tolerate what he was saying anymore either. View quote
Artie Lange
Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar. View quote
Craig Ferguson
I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up. View quote
George Lopez (comedian)
I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry. View quote
Wendy Liebman
Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. View quote
Robin Williams
My dialogue probably reveals the paranoia of the stand-up: if you're not quick and interesting, they will be gone. View quote
Patrick Marber
He's arguably one of the best stand-up comics in the country. View quote
Jim Gaffigan
[Stand-up is] kind of like catching bullets between your teeth. If you're gonna do it right, it would be something to learn it and then not make a career out of it. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
[George is] like the kind of guy that you hang around with in New York who's not in the [stand-up] business, but he's been your friend for a long time and you're just kind of-- In the important ways, you're too similar to ever not be friends. [...] Even though your lives are in completely different places, the friendship survives, 'cause in the important ways of shallowness and neurotic exploration of meaningless detail: that's where you bonded. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
Stand-up is the only thing that I knew -- that I could be sure -- that I-- if I was doing it, and audiences were responding well, that I wasn't cheating. 'Cause there is no way to cheat, in stand-up! It's the naked-est, purest thing in the world. (Jerry Seinfeld)
No one is more judged in civilized society than the stand-up comedian. Every twelve seconds, you're rated. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
[Stand-up is] a martial art. It's voice, it's action, it's gesture; and everything is synchronized to land on that [weakest] point. You ever watch these karate guys? They hit that brick: it's a perfect arrow that hits that target, and when it-- and it's perfect! It's a concentration of energy. And that's what elicits the laugh. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
Stand-up is now easy to learn, harder to master because once you get halfway decent at it, [...] you can do other things. And if you do one other thing, you're not gonna get good at it; it's just too damn hard. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
I like the brutality of stand-up and the simple, boiled-down "it either lives or dies" of a joke. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld