Stand-up Quotes

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. (Tim Allen)
If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression. View quote
Jim Carrey
As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing. View quote
Jimmy Carr
When it's going well, stand-up is the best thing in the world, but when it's not, it feels like all your toes are being pulled off one by one. View quote
Jennifer Coolidge
I didn't really like the aloneness of doing stand-up. View quote
Steve Buscemi
The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby ... I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware of it, and Monty Python used to be on PBS at weird hours, so I used to try to watch that. And I loved George Carlin on SNL, that was the first stand-up I ever really remember seeing on TV. And then Steve Martin. I guess I was in fifth or sixth grade when Steve Martin showed up, and he was instantly my idol. And Richard Pryor around the same time too, I sort of became aware of him, though I don't remember the first time I saw him. View quote
Louis C.K.
Stand-up is hard. View quote
Jerry Seinfeld
I think the hard thing about this job [stand-up] I mean, I think this part is great but that the traveling is y'know, 'cause 'cause I'm gone a lot from home and this time I'm out for three-and-a-half weeks without going home, and that's hard, to be gone three-and-a-half weeks 'cause then I have to ask my friends, "Would you mind going to the house and watering the plants, and turn some lights on and make it look like somebody's home, and make sure that the mobile over the crib isn't tangled or the baby's gonna get bored. View quote
Ellen DeGeneres
A stand-up comedian faces the audiences and gets their immediate feedback. I hide behind the comic strip, and unless people write to me, I don't know what they think. View quote
Stephan Pastis
Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music. View quote
Tracy Morgan
Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes. (Aziz Ansari)
The driving force behind doing everything that I've been doing for 11 years as a stand-up is having problems with authority and not liking to be told what to do. View quote
Anthony Jeselnik
It seemed to me you could do anything in comics. So I started doing my thing, which is mainly influenced by novelists, stand-up comedians, that sort of thing. View quote
Harvey Pekar
The best part about being a stand-up is the connection with the audience. There's nothing more gratifying then when you can make 300 people applaud and stand up - because that's all you. View quote
Aries Spears
I wanted to be a writer first, and I struck out in the world to be a writer first, and then found stand-up as a more creative outlet, as a 3D way to be creative. View quote
B. J. Novak
You know, I'm playing the Mirage in Vegas, the main room... About 5 percent of all comics end up as the main headliner on the Vegas Strip, so that's a big deal for me. Getting to do my stand-up the way I have this summer is really what I've dreamed of since I was about 10 years old. View quote
Billy Gardell
I think with Sky and BBC Three and Channel 4, there are some great television platforms, and the stand-up movement in this country is phenomenal. Its like rock'n'roll here. Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding mediums to express themselves. View quote
Brendan Coyle
You know, stand-up comedy is where I pretty much started out. View quote
Brion James
I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-up. View quote
Chelsea Peretti
Once I started doing stand-up, everything fell into place. That was when I started acting more; I felt like I'd found my place in the business. View quote
Chris D'Elia
I love to exercise outside in the fresh air and sun: hiking, swimming, stand-up paddleboarding, and jogging. (Colbie Caillat)
Prison widens your circle of friends. In my stand-up, I can now talk about things that no one else has the right to touch. View quote
Craig Charles
I started doing stand-up in college. View quote
Carlos Alazraqui
I've been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly. View quote
Diane Neal
The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience. View quote
Howie Mandel