Jokes Quotes - page 4

I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. I've got no plans to stop doing it. (David Alan Basche)
I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out. View quote
David Antin
Don't make jokes about food. View quote
David Lean
Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you... And the orchestra really kept you going. They'd laugh at all your jokes, even if they'd been hearing them for the last 30 years. View quote
Donald O'Connor
All I do is have fun. When I'm not working, it's about making people laugh. I love making jokes about things. Even when someone's mad at me, I'll deflect anger with humor. My days are filled with laughter. If I'm not laughing, I'm not happy. View quote
Drew Fuller
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude. View quote
Frank Muir
I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did. View quote
Glen Campbell
I'm really bad at writing jokes. View quote
Glenn Howerton
When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes. View quote
Graham Kennedy
Even if its a white crowd, I tell my jokes for the four black people in the room, not the 100 whites. View quote
Gary Owen
I was in California the first time I heard Michael Jackson wanted to record with me. I was, like, 'Nah, no way, he's too big, it can't be true.' Then I got a call from Michael's people at my hotel telling me he was interested. But I still wasn't believing it - I thought they were setting me up for a TV practical jokes show. (Heavy D)
You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically. View quote
Hector Elizondo
I enjoy life. I always enjoy jokes. View quote
Ivan Lendl
Gratuitous fat jokes always hurt, no matter what. View quote
Josh Peck
When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while. View quote
Kevin Nealon
It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour. View quote
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Most jokes state a bitter truth. View quote
Larry Gelbart
The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun. View quote
Margot Kidder
I love Los Angeles. I love when people make fun of it. I think, 'Good, don't come.' All the jokes about it feel out of date. View quote
Mary McCormack
If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father. View quote
Mary Todd Lincoln
The jokes I used to do on 'Sex and the City' were always comic character things, and they were rarely hard jokes. As soon as you go up in front of people, it demands laughter. (Michael Patrick King)
Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure. View quote
Nick Clooney
I remember, growing up, if something big - God forbid - happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey. View quote
Oscar Nunez
Twitter taught me how to become better at writing jokes because it forces you to chip away at all the extraneous words. View quote
Peter Serafinowicz
The White Company offers its loyalists an altogether better, whiter world. The White people have edited out any colours that aren't white, off-white, milk chocolate, grey, taupe or black. They can't be doing with Johnnie Boden's cheery Sloane jokes, his spots and stripes, his occasional 'if it's me, it's U' loud colours. View quote
Peter York