Jokes Quotes - page 21

If you have the personalities down, you understand them and identify with them you can stick them in any situation and have a pretty good idea of how they're going to respond. Then it's just a matter of sanding and polishing up the jokes. But if you've got more ambiguous characters or stock stereotypes, the plastic comes through and they don't work as well. These two characters clicked for me almost immediately and I feel very comfortable working with them. (Bill Watterson)
Truly religious people always make jokes about their religion; their faith is so strong that they can afford it. Much of the secret of life consists in knowing how to laugh, and also how to breathe. View quote
Alan Watts
Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what. View quote
Jackson Browne
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody. View quote
Drew Carey
I like to have my characters talking in an up-to-date way, and I like their essentially modern self-awareness, which means we can have lots of irony and jokes. View quote
Jonathan Stroud
Then I will tape the sets and even though I'm not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together. View quote
David Cross
In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around. View quote
David Cross
I now have two different audiences. There's the one that has been watching my action films for 20 years, and the American family audience. American jokes, less fighting. View quote
Jackie Chan
You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good. View quote
Tom Lehrer
How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones. View quote
Samuel Beckett
Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, 'This is where I wanna be.' (Patton Oswalt)
As you get older, as a comedian, and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the jokes, but how comfortable you can be in the silence and the non-laughing parts, and how long you can take the audience without a laugh to then get a huge reaction. View quote
Patton Oswalt
All the truly great stand-ups say, "I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work." To me, in the end, the surest thing is work. View quote
Patton Oswalt
The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about his own films' failure - once again - to be honored. View quote
Dick Cavett
I could never do stand-up because it's that thing of having to get up on stage. And out of every 10 jokes you tell, nine of them have to get a really good response. View quote
Daniel Radcliffe
Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has. View quote
Will Smith
In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for totally different reasons. View quote
Will Smith
Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can't get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. View quote
David Mitchell (author)
Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it. View quote
Penn Jillette
I am a crazy online shopper. My husband always jokes, Another box arrived! Airplanes used to be my sanctuary for reading books, but now I have to peruse Gilt sales. View quote
Lisa Ling
I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke! (Kathy Griffin)
I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh. View quote
Kathy Griffin
Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part. View quote
Kathy Griffin
Popular men who laugh at your jokes pose a threat which blatant villains can never command. View quote
Lindsey Davis
You're not bloody Aristophanes, and the people who are paying for tickets are not educated Athenians. We're acting for turnips who only come to talk to their cousins and fart. We have to give them a lot of action and low-level jokes, but you can leave all that to us on stage. We know what's required. Your job is to hone the basic framework and remember the simple motto: short speeches, short lines, short words. View quote
Lindsey Davis