Jokes Quotes

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one... (Marilyn Monroe)
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. View quote
George Eliot
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. View quote
Robert Frost
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. View quote
Will Rogers
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. View quote
David Ogilvy
For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies. View quote
Laurence Sterne
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. View quote
Ludwig Wittgenstein
One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes. View quote
Desi Arnaz
I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde. View quote
Dolly Parton
Jokes are grievances. View quote
Marshall McLuhan
Round-heads and wooden-shoes are standing jokes. (Joseph Addison)
They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure. View quote
Ernest Hemingway
Well had the boding tremblers learn'd to trace The day's disasters in his morning face Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee At all his jokes, for many a joke had he Full well the busy whisper circling round Convey'd the dismal tidings when he frown'd. Yet was he kind, or if severe in aught, The love he bore to learning was in fault The village all declar'd how much he knew, 'Twas certain he could write and cipher too. View quote
Oliver Goldsmith
The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that. View quote
Simon Pegg
My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh. View quote
Carrot Top
When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence. View quote
Evan Dando
I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he? View quote
Ian St John
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter. View quote
Tahar Ben Jelloun
In actual fact, the female function is to explore, discover, invent, solve problems crack jokes, make music - all with love. In other words, create a magic world. View quote
Valerie Solanas
Within those confining walls, teachers - a bunch of men all armed with the same information - gave the same lectures every year from the same notebooks and every year at the same point in the textbooks made the same jokes. View quote
Yukio Mishima
The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies...I'm not really a lawyer. (Tina Fey)
We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes. You know what sweeten means, right? That's a showbiz term for "add sugar to." View quote
Mitch Hedberg
The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes... View quote
Woody Allen
You know, OK, I made a few jokes - and they killed 3000 Americans. Fair trade. View quote
Ann Coulter
I always was an early-morning or late-night writer. Early morning was my favorite; late night was because you had a deadline. And at four in the morning, you make up some of your most absurd jokes. View quote
Joss Whedon