Joke Quotes - page 5

Would like to join me? (Astrid) I think I'd look strange in a bikini. (Zarek) Was that a joke? Can it be you made a real joke? (Astrid) Yeah, I must be possessed or something. (Zarek) (Sherrilyn Kenyon)
For someone to say that marriage is only about procreation is a joke. I didn't marry my husband to have children. I married my husband because I love my husband. View quote
Aisha Tyler
I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller. View quote
Bernie Mac
It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. View quote
David Walliams
I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it. View quote
David Walliams
As though all the world were a bad joke and she was the only one around who knew the punchline. View quote
Jack Ketchum
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. View quote
John Krasinski
If the clockwork universe equated the human body with the mechanics of the clock, the digital universe now equates human consciousness with the processing of the computer. We joke that things don't compute, that we need a reboot, or that our memory has been wiped. View quote
Douglas Rushkoff
... nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny. View quote
Curtis Sittenfeld
His whole personality was like an elaborate joke that he never stopped telling. View quote
Lev Grossman
Women don't have a sense of humor. They don't need one. The Almighty made them as a permanent joke on men. From which one may logically deduce tha the Almighty is a female. (Loretta Chase)
There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere. View quote
Mose Allison
People always joke that 'dog' spells 'god' backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well they do, what kind of people they are. The animals are right here, right in front of us. And how we treat these companions is a test. View quote
Linda Blair
I'm a diplomat by nature. I help find the middle ground. I crack a joke and use humour to help resolve potentially vicious situations quickly. It gets things in perspective and helps everyone to see that things aren't as bad as they seem. View quote
Ron Wood
I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really. View quote
Anthony Jeselnik
Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public. View quote
Jessica Mitford
Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?' 'He is making a joke, no,' Will said. 'But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes. View quote
John Flanagan
I like to say, Chop sueys the biggest culinary joke that one culture has ever played on another, because chop suey, if you translate into Chinese, means tsap sui, which, if you translate back, means odds and ends. View quote
Jennifer Lee
Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break. View quote
Meg Rosoff
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature. View quote
Patty Duke
I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human. (Rainn Wilson)
Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the whole thing. View quote
W.S. Merwin
All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That's kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different. But it was a joke and he made it that way. View quote
Sammy Hagar
In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again. View quote
Graham Chapman
That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics! View quote
Alan Vega