Joke Quotes - page 31

My life, my life, now I speak of it as of something over, now as of a joke which still goes on, and it is neither, for at the same time it is over and it goes on, and is there any tense for that? Watch wound and buried by the watchmaker, before he died, whose ruined works will one day speak of God, to the worms. (Samuel Beckett)
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I'm not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject. View quote
Dick Cavett
The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about his own films' failure - once again - to be honored. View quote
Dick Cavett
I'm not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn't really bother me. View quote
Dick Cavett
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely. View quote
T. S. Eliot
When the Everywhere couple crack a joke It's laughed at by all right-thinking folk. When the Everywhere couple adopt a pose It's the with-it view as everyone knows. View quote
John Brunner
when he smiles it's as if you'd just told him the first joke on earth. View quote
Mitch Albom
You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the best - or you're gonna make it work out. View quote
Jack Youngblood
I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark. View quote
Daniel Radcliffe
The truth is always an insult or a joke, lies are generally tastier. We love them. The nature of lies is to please. Truth has no concern for anyone's comfort. View quote
Katherine Dunn
I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show. (Michael Phelps)
If our faith is strong, we'll go to heaven, and we'll understand the whole thing when we get there. As if life were a joke, and heaven the place where the cosmic punchline is finally explained to us. View quote
Stephen King
Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can't get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. View quote
David Mitchell (author)
I always joke about letting the haters motivate you. Everybody has that in their life, people who doubt them or make them feel less than they are. It just takes faith and belief in yourself, and you've got to dig deep into that. That has to come from you - nobody's going to give you that. View quote
Jennifer Lopez
I was saying as a joke the other day that I love film editing, I know how to cut a picture, I think I know how to shoot it, but I don't know how to light it. And I realize it's because I didn't grow up with light. I grew up in tenements. View quote
Martin Scorsese
I've never revved my car at a light for an attractive woman or an auto-rival, not even as a joke. View quote
Penn Jillette
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.' View quote
Penn Jillette
Existentialists are monumentally and monotonously serious; they don't like to joke. View quote
Wisława Szymborska
I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke! View quote
Kathy Griffin
At that time there was some truth in the old joke which describes the English dislike of speculation by saying that all our philosophy consists of a short catechism in two questions: "What is mind? No matter. - What is matter? Never mind.” The only accepted appeal was to tradition. View quote
John W. Campbell
I used to do this big rant at the end of some gigs with Ben Folds Five. The band broke into this big heavy metal thing and I started as a joke to scream in a heavy metal falsetto. I found myself saying things like: Feel my pain, I am white, feel my pain. (Ben Folds)
Music, for me, is a love bewitched. / Fame as a painter? / Writer, modern poet? Bad joke. / So I have no calling, and loaf. View quote
Paul Klee
If life's a joke, then suicide's a bad punch line. View quote
Louise Erdrich
Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke. View quote
Fred Durst
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law and every time they make a law it's a joke. View quote
Will Rogers