Joke Quotes - page 20

Whenever I realize I'm being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect it has on the audience. No one wants to see someone talk who takes themselves too seriously. (Billy Gardell)

On 'Lab Rats,' I read the script probably three or four times before we ever even do a table read because I want to be completely prepared. And I want to know exactly which beats I have to hit and where I need to make something comical. Some lines need a little more than others do just to get the point across, to get the joke to be funny.

Billy Unger

We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt.

Bobby Farrelly

I joke around all the time, 'I'm Asian; I'm really good at math.'

Brenda Song

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

Brian P. Cleary

You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.

Brian P. Cleary

I have had every hair color. I joke with my hair colorist. She keeps sheets of paper on every hair color that I've had, so she has records of it all. She's done my hair since I was 15, and I guess I have a thick folder going because I've had so many different hair colors.

Brittany Snow

I only became a celebrity because I had a kid. Before I was pregnant nobody cared. I joke to my agent that having a baby made my career.

Busy Philipps

You never know when you'll have a bad idea for a worse joke.

Benjamin Walker

There was a time when I didn't like myself at all. I thought I was a cruel joke. But now I've come to realise that maybe I am not cute, but I am beautiful.

Cee Lo Green

I would kill to be on Dexter, and I would double kill to be on True Blood. I would pay them to let me come be a vampire or a vampire victim. No joke! (Callie Thorne)

I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes - 'Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!' - I'm way into.

Chris Hardwick

If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old jokes!' But bands do it all the time.

Chris Hardwick

I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are.

Christa Miller

I always joke around with my parents and say that if Hollywood doesn't work out I'll go to Broadway!

Claudia Lee

I do find myself surprised by the comedy shows that seem to have the same joke week in week out.

Clive Anderson

I think one of the funniest things about '30 Rock' is that Liz Lemon is sort of like Buster Keaton - she's always the fool, the joke is always on her.

Cristin Milioti

It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke.

Carla Bley

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it.'

Carol Leifer

It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about.

Caroline Rhea

In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?' (Carrot Top)

I really like comedy. There's always a choice, when you're writing: you can either go for the joke or you can go for the story, the important stuff.

David Chase

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

Don Rickles

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

Don Rickles

I'm a professional hanger outer. I'm a super liability, too. I joke around, and I'm like a hyperactive child.

Donal Logue

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