Joke Quotes - page 18

Actors fall into this trap if they missed being loved for who they really were and not for what they could do - sing, dance, joke about - then they take that as love. (Gene Wilder)
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. View quote
John Krasinski
The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it. View quote
Jonah Hill
We're all just a bundle of habits shaped by our memories. And to the extent that we control our lives, we do so by gradually altering those habits, which is to say the networks of our memory. No lasting joke, or invention, or insight, or work of art was ever produced by an external memory. Not yet, at least. View quote
Joshua Foer
The joke that I make is that there are instances on the TV series that happen to me, - except on Sex and the City they always make it better or worse than real life and I am actually saying that in a joking way. View quote
Candace Bushnell
I take care of myself, which includes dieting, exercising and minimising stress. I joke that I've been on a diet since 1974, which is basically true. View quote
Kim Cattrall
Most people, when they hear the disease name, it's all they know about it. It sounds so mild. When I first was sick, for the first 10 years or so, I was dismissed. I was ridiculed and told I was lazy. It was a joke. View quote
Laura Hillenbrand
I don't worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you'll go insane. View quote
Michael Caine
Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke. View quote
Berkeley Breathed
One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before. View quote
Doug Larson
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke. (Alan King)
That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about. View quote
Alan King
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: "Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about." View quote
Aziz Ansari
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up. View quote
Aziz Ansari
In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth. View quote
Roseanne Barr
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff. View quote
Roseanne Barr
I am so pathetic with machines in real life, it's not a joke. I'd rather walk, or even run, than take the car out myself. I like to be driven around. Yes, I like fancy cars, and fancy bikes, too. It's my dream to learn how to ride one myself, but for now, I am content being driven around. View quote
Bipasha Basu
When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank. View quote
Bob Newhart
I'm so thankful that all that stuff made it to the screen, because a lot of the time studio executives say that there's no time, or ask why we should feel sympathy for this bad guy. I joke that I'm the romantic lead in the movie, I just happened to pick the wrong girl. Imhotep is kind of the tragic villain, I guess, and a lot of people have come up to me and said I was hating you, but then I reach a point when I was feeling sorry for you too. It's those different facets that help explain why this film is such a success. View quote
Arnold Vosloo
My friends always joke that I run on batteries. View quote
Alexander Wang
Any private security is a joke in a country where youre up against your own government. (Bidzina Ivanishvili)
Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you're (linguistically) dead. View quote
David Crystal
I do a lot of public speaking and presentations and I'll always start with a self-deprecating joke to make everybody feel comfortable with my size because there can be hang-ups and anxieties. View quote
Warwick Davis
I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds. View quote
Dave Chappelle
After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding. View quote
Dave Chappelle