Joke Quotes

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. (George Bernard Shaw)
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood. View quote
Gloria Steinem
You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else. View quote
Robert Louis Stevenson
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. View quote
Robert Frost
Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke. View quote
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke. View quote
William Hazlitt
The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind. View quote
H. P. Lovecraft
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. View quote
G. K. Chesterton
I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't. View quote
Alfred North Whitehead
Housekeeping ain't no joke. View quote
Louisa May Alcott
I can't even really tell a joke. I find being funny very hard work. I am always asked about it and I feel guilty saying that, but it's the truth. I love my work but it ain't easy. (Madeline Kahn)
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke. View quote
Hermann Hesse
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. View quote
George Orwell
The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. View quote
H. G. Wells
Sex is God's joke on human beings. View quote
Bette Davis
If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke. View quote
Gregory David Roberts
It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination. View quote
Martha Gellhorn
Everyone recognizes that's a joke because obviously the number and shape of the pieces doesn't affect the size of the pizza. And similarly, the stocks, bonds, warrants, etc., issued don't affect the aggregate value of the firm. View quote
Merton Miller
My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself. View quote
Maya Angelou
Well had the boding tremblers learn'd to trace The day's disasters in his morning face Full well they laugh'd with counterfeited glee At all his jokes, for many a joke had he Full well the busy whisper circling round Convey'd the dismal tidings when he frown'd. Yet was he kind, or if severe in aught, The love he bore to learning was in fault The village all declar'd how much he knew, 'Twas certain he could write and cipher too. View quote
Oliver Goldsmith
Postmodernism is among other things a sick joke at the expense of... revolutionary avant-gardism. (Terry Eagleton)
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. View quote
George Orwell
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. View quote
Muhammad Ali
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome. View quote
T. S. Eliot
I asked a thief to steal me a peach He turned up his eyes. I asked a lithe lady to lie her down Holy and meek, she cries. As soon as I went An angel came. He winked at the thief And smiled at the dame And without one word spoke Had a peach from the tree, And twixt earnest and joke Enjoyed the lady. View quote
William Blake