Funny Quotes - page 96

I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn't pronounce my R's. I wasn't a beauty. (Barbara Walters)
It's not an accident that both my sister and I are writers. Our parents created an accidental Petri dish. My family has great storytellers, and I grew up in a very funny, conversational house and didn't have television. This small family farm was a bubble world that didn't have much to do with reality. View quote
Elizabeth Gilbert
I don't hate humanity and I'm not interested in people who do. Although, it's funny, actually, some of my favorite writers really do. Like Martin Amis. My dirty secret. 'London Fields' is one of my favorite books ever. And it's indefensible! But he's so funny... I forgive him everything. View quote
Elizabeth Gilbert
I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm funny; I'll go on trips with them - I'll do all sorts of stuff.' But the momming? I'm not made for that. I have a really good mom; I know what she put into it. View quote
Elizabeth Gilbert
So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny. View quote
Mitch Hedberg
You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub - based on G-Dub - and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University. View quote
Kerry Washington
I didn't grow up thinking I was pretty; there was always a prettier girl than me. So I learned to be smart and tried to be funny and develop the inside of me, because I felt like that's what I had. View quote
Kerry Washington
If there's ever a woman who's smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don't write that. They only write parts for women where they let everything be steamrolled over them, where they let people wipe their feet all over them. View quote
Teri Garr
I'm somebody who believes in funny things, and laughing, but I do like for them to come from a place that addresses the human condition. View quote
Natasha Lyonne
It's funny," I said. "It's very funny. And it's a lot of fun, too, to be in love." "Do you think so?" her eyes looked flat again. "I don't mean fun that way. In a way it's an enjoyable feeling." "No," she said. "I think it's hell on earth. View quote
Ernest Hemingway
Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny. (Ricky Gervais)
Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny. View quote
Ricky Gervais
I always chose all my friends on whether they were funny. What's a better way to pass the time than laughing or smiling? View quote
Ricky Gervais
I mixed [early 1950's] funny shades of colors and used them but I used them because they made the drawing in my picture move. It wasn't because I was in love with the idea of putting color down. But these colors were the expedient things to use for the way I drew and I say 'draw' not meaning line, though it might have included line. But the way I drew or envisioned or made my work. And it happened that it came out stressing color. But I did not have a vision or a notion about color per se being the thing that would make me or my pictures work or operate. View quote
Helen Frankenthaler
I didn't say he was dating you," he said, "but funny that you knew just what I meant, isn't it?" "We're not dating," Alec said again. "Oh?" Magnus said. "So you're just that friendly with everybody, is that it? View quote
Cassandra Clare
The corner of his mouth quirked up suddenly. "What?” Clary demanded. "Is something funny?” " ‘Flying death turtle'?” he said. "Only you. View quote
Cassandra Clare
It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now... whaddaya know, every day I'm in a calico dress, basically, so it's kind of funny. View quote
Chloë Sevigny
My grandchildren are fabulous and funny. View quote
Erica Jong
There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. View quote
Larry David
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' View quote
Larry David
You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid. (Larry David)
I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. View quote
Larry David
It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent. View quote
Natalie Merchant
The first thing that I learned - and I understood it at a really young age - was that I could get a laugh. Really early. Because my mother and father are funny. View quote
George Clooney
The funniest thing is that all the things every director goes through, I thought I could shortcut, but there was no getting around those issues. View quote
George Clooney