Funny Quotes - page 8

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke. (Maureen Johnson)
The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs. View quote
Maureen Johnson
I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it. View quote
Meg Cabot
It's funny how you can forget everything except people loving you. Maybe that's why humans find it so hard getting over love affairs. It's not the pain they're getting over, it's the love. View quote
Melina Marchetta
Do not cry for me, Azrael. Do not waste your tears. You made your decision. And this is mine. Sacrifice seems to be my destiny. A funny thing for a selfish man, isn't it? They always called me weak back then... View quote
Melissa de la Cruz
Why didn't you talk about whether women are funny or not? I just felt that by commenting on that in any real way, it would be tacit approval of it as a legitimate debate, which it isn't. View quote
Mindy Kaling
It's funny how a flame can only burn your hand if you move too slow, you can tease it all you want and it never gets you, if your quick enough. View quote
Neal Shusterman
Your hair looks funny," Lief said, as soon as the Ugloids left. "It stands straight up!" No," said Nick, intensely irritated, "It's hanging straight down." Lief just gave him an upside-down shrug. "Up is down in China and you're part-Chinese. View quote
Neal Shusterman
I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to me for romantic advice. I know nothing, and things have changed since I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself. View quote
Olivia Wilde
I find that I'm extremely unattracted to anything that's humorless. There is writing that is entirely serious, and it doesn't ring true to me, because I think, oftentimes, life is very, very funny. Even the worst, most humiliating, savage disappointments in retrospect have elements of bleak humor. View quote
Owen King
Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. (P. J. O'Rourke)
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. View quote
P. J. O'Rourke
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. View quote
Paula Deen
[My mom's] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that. View quote
Rick Riordan
True, you're the weakest of us all, but you're still one of the five, and there is power in collecting the complete set." He paused, then grinned. "The complete Set! That's funny! Now let's consume your energy and entomb your soul, shall we? View quote
Rick Riordan
I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over. View quote
Rick Riordan
This is Leo. I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or..." "Repair boy." "Very funny, Piper. View quote
Rick Riordan
I love New York. You can pop out of the Underworld in Central Park, hail a taxi, head down Fifth Avenue with a giant hellhound loping behind you, and nobody even looks at you funny. View quote
Rick Riordan
We've all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I'm tragically funny and good-looking. View quote
Rick Riordan
It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I'm allowed to meet? You think it's funny to send me this this ― this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back! View quote
Rick Riordan
I keep forgetting about your amnesia. Heh. Forgetting about amnesia. That's funny. (Rick Riordan)
It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality. View quote
Rick Riordan
Oh my god, I am so awesome!" Leo bellowed. "So awesome!" Echo yelled back. "He is funny," a nymph ventured. "And cute, in a scrawny way," another said. "Scrawny?" Leo asked. "Baby I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot. View quote
Rick Riordan
And do you know a funny thing? I'm almost fifty years old and I've never understood anything in my whole life. View quote
Richard Yates
You know, if you play on home soil sometimes funny things can happen and you have that push of the crowd. View quote
Ruud Gullit