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Funny Quotes - page 6
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. ... And that's not funny.
Tom Lehrer
Nell: Nothing is funnier than unhappiness.Nagg: Oh?Nell: Yes, yes, it's the most comical thing in the world. And we laugh, we laugh, with a will, in the beginning. But it's always the same thing. Yes, it's like the funny story we have heard too often, we still find it funny, but we don't laugh any more.
Samuel Beckett
It's a funny thing, when you talk to God, you're religious, but when he talks to you, you're a psychopath.
Peter Steele
So I watched the Pink Panther last night, and so I'm trying desperately to be funny, and then it's just not working out so good... I wonder if maybe I could've been a comedian or something like that, or maybe I could've been a doctor, then I wouldn't have to make anyone laugh.
Dave Matthews
I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
Stephen King
I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.
Jim Carrey
Before seeing Truffaut's Small Change, I was afraid it was going to be one of those simple, natural films about childhood which I generally try to avoid - I'm just not good enough to go to them. But this series of sketches on the general theme of the resilience of children turns out to be that rarity - a poetic comedy that's really funny.
Pauline Kael
I've never claimed that this is investment art. When we first started out, all the art colleges and universities across the country would sort of badmouth what we were doing. It's funny that a lot of them now are sending us letters saying, 'We may not totally agree with the way you paint, but we appreciate what you're doing, because you're sending literally thousands of people into art colleges.'
Bob Ross
Now everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.
Will Rogers
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres
If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them.
Kurt Vonnegut
The reading public isn't born that doesn't think foreigners are either funny or faintly sinister.
Christopher Hitchens
I honestly don't class myself as a songwriter. I've got 'musician' written on my passport. That's even funnier.
Robert Smith (musician)
It's funny how someone's perception of you can be formed without you even knowing it.
Sarah Dessen
Humour very often consists of shrewd perceptions about people. It's usually fun at someone's expense. Nowadays if you're funny at anybody's expense they run to the UN and say, "I must have an ombudsman to protect me." You hardly dare have a shrewd perception about anybody.
Robertson Davies
[The Leesburg Garden Club is a] nest of Soviet fellow travelers clacking busybodies in a Soviet jellyfish front, sitting here in Leesburg oozing out their funny little propaganda and making nuisances of themselves.
Lyndon LaRouche
Even though I love my mother, I didn't want to make an idealized portrait of her. I'm fascinated more by her defects - they are funnier than her other qualities.
Pedro Almodóvar
I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful I like birds, bees, I like people I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful... Like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in pre-school!
Eminem
There should be more sincerity and heart in human relations, more silence and simplicity in our interactions. Be rude when you're angry, laugh when something is funny, and answer when you're asked.
Anton Chekhov
You put out a funny podcast, you talk about bak chor mee. I will say mee siam mai hum.
Lee Hsien Loong
You know it's funny, when it rains it pours they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.
Tupac Shakur
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