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Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth.
Augusten Burroughs
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After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.
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When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch.
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Of all things upon earth that bleed and grow, a herb most bruised is woman.
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Then sing as Martin Luther sang, As Doctor Martin Luther sang, 'Who loves not wine, woman and song, He is a fool his whole life long.'
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The most entertaining surface on earth is the human face.
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