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I don't claim that this is correct, or that God exists, but it is just sort of half a joke.
Paul Erdős
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One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
Jane Austen
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider.
George Carlin
I've only slept with men I've been married to. How many women can make that claim?
Elizabeth Taylor
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
George Bernard Shaw
Do not be afraid, you are not alone. Lonely is he who does not know God, even if he is friends with half the world.
Nikolaj Velimirovic