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You can never have a thousand percent batting average on jokes - it's just never going to happen.
Paul Feig
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Never, never, never let anyone tell you that, in order to be Orthodox, you must be Eastern. The West was fully Orthodox for a thousand years...
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Maintain a spirit of peace and you will save a thousand souls.
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The average married man lives two thousand and five days longer than his single counterpart, albeit with less reason.
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In Indiana, the Affordable Care Act will raise the average cost of health insurance in the individual market by an unaffordable 72 percent.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla