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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
Orson Welles
Sometimes people say,' One day you are going to look back at this and laugh.' My question is:' Why wait?
Richard Bandler
If the liberties of the American people are ever destroyed, they will fall by the hands of the Romish clergy.
Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette
The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them.
Patrick Henry