The thing about sexual assault and the narrative that gets played out so often is that it's a deadlock. It's what one person said vs. what another person said. It's just that my personal experience as a survivor is incredibly muddied. I was very young and had such a crush on the person. I willingly obliged so many preambles to The Moment. I felt incredibly complicit. My self-gaslighting was so sustained and calcified that I wasn't entirely sure if it "counted.” At the time it wasn't something I would ever have felt secure declaring as assault if the burden of proof lay with me recounting everything about my intentions vs. the other person's. We talk about consent and it's important to define, but it's never this hard and fast yes/no pact that's then committed to the stenographer... (Mary H.K. Choi)

The thing about sexual assault and the narrative that gets played out so often is that it's a deadlock. It's what one person said vs. what another person said. It's just that my personal experience as a survivor is incredibly muddied. I was very young and had such a crush on the person. I willingly obliged so many preambles to The Moment. I felt incredibly complicit. My self-gaslighting was so sustained and calcified that I wasn't entirely sure if it "counted.” At the time it wasn't something I would ever have felt secure declaring as assault if the burden of proof lay with me recounting everything about my intentions vs. the other person's. We talk about consent and it's important to define, but it's never this hard and fast yes/no pact that's then committed to the stenographer...

Mary H.K. Choi

Related topics

assault burden commit consent deadlock declaring define everything experience fast felt hard lay moment muddy narrative person proof say something sure talk thing time yes young recounting

Related quotes