It is a rather unpleasant sensation to feel yourself pulled by the strings and made to do things whether you want to or not - that is quite irrelevant - but to be compelled to act because something pulls you by the strings, something which you do not even see - that is exasperating. ... I knew nobody who could help me and I did not have the chance that you have, someone who can tell you: "This is what you have to do!" There was nobody to tell me that. I had to find it out all by myself. And I found it. I started at five.