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Essentially, retweets are like laughs.
Mike Birbiglia
More Mike Birbiglia quotes
Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
Mike Birbiglia
Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.
Mike Birbiglia
Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you can write all day. The baristas don't glare at you. They don't even look at you.
Mike Birbiglia
Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So today I'm driving the bus.' And everybody's like, 'What?' And you're like, 'I'm gonna drive the bus.' And they're like, 'But you don't know how to drive the bus.'
Mike Birbiglia
I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.
Mike Birbiglia