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You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny.
Jon Lovitz
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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My love life is like everyone else's - great, and then terrible.
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Tennis is a mental game. Everyone is fit, everyone hits great forehands and backhands.
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I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.
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If everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, would there?
Douglas Adams