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You don't want to be the first person to tell your 5-year-old, like, 'You're going to have a life filled with disappointments and letdowns - enjoy!'
Maya Rudolph
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My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
Harry S. Truman
Trouble is part of your life - if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.
Dinah Shore
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.
François de La Rochefoucauld
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner