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I didn't want my parents to support me. I wanted to prove that I could do it by myself.
Linda Vester
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Mitch Hedberg
You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else.
Robert Louis Stevenson
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Spike Milligan
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
Bertrand Russell