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I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
Don Rickles
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When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
Otto von Bismarck
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
Oscar Wilde
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.
Oscar Wilde
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen
A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt