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Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
John Cleese
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The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.
Jonathan Swift
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Alan Kay