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(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".
Spike Milligan
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An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
A teacher affects eternity he can never tell, where his influence stops.
Henry Adams
When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
Otto von Bismarck
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
George Bernard Shaw