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A half a Vicodin and a Bahama Mama...makes for a bitchin' day!
Bill Engvall
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Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider.
George Carlin
Every man is a fool for at least five minutes every day wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.
Elbert Hubbard
Do not wait for the Last Judgment. It takes place every day.
Albert Camus
May you live every day of your life.
Jonathan Swift
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
Mark Twain